Chronic Ama

After two percocets, the pain in my back is still so intense, I'm on the couch wide awake. There is absolutely no position I can get comfortable in. To top it off, my stomach has also been so upset that all I've had today is a yogurt and a sandwich. My stomach is growling, but the thought of food is making me nauseated. Just gotta keep sucking it up here. I've actually considered going to the ER just for better pain meds, but I am too exhausted to actually follow through. It's just me and my crazy thoughts tonight. I'm wondering who actually reads this shit. And if you do, who actually cares? If you're up to it, leave a comment here. I haven't had one of those in ages on this blog. It's OK, you can just keep scrolling now....

RAfter reading again and again on my news feed about getting back in shape, I'm wondering how many of you have followed through.. Or fallen through? I'm not quite work out ready yet and after bed rest and surgery recovery, I'm holding at 155 pounds. Yesterday my work out consisted of cleaning the bathroom, popping a Percocet and then finishing laundry. As much as I wanted to go walking today, I opted to detail my car and clean out Mark's car. Two birds, one stone. Burned about the same amount of calories and I feel accomplished. Protein shake for lunch! Let's see what tomorrow brings since now Friday is my new ETA to get an appointment with my doctor. Oh yay, waiting game fun times.

I'm officially on leave from work until I can start these stupid injections and get back to feeling better. I was supposed to hear back from the doctor's office last week, but I called them Thursday morning and Friday morning and haven't heard anything back. Ok, so it was technically a holiday weekend. I left another message this morning. I just feel like I'm racing against a timer now and the longer everyone drags this out, the less time I have to feel better. Does that make any sense? It sort of does, but nothing makes sense to me lately.  I feel fucking useless. I can't work right now because I miss more days than I actually work. I can't really start exercising again because about 3 hours into my day, the pain starts. When I start getting stabbing pains, if I don't take a pain killer right away, then the pain just gets worse and worse. I already feel like my family is sick of me and being in pain doesn't help things. This morning I'v...

Today I reached that point in time where I just had to lay in bed and think about everything. I can't rush time and I certainly don't want to slow it down. So much ran through my mind, but the lingering thought was how damn uncomfortable I am. I feel like I'm in thr last month of pregnancy again. I have to pee all the damn time. I'm always hungry, but the pressure of my swelling makes me feel like everything I eat is huge and heavy. I'm overly emotional. I'm exhausted. But, I still don't think I've reached my breaking point. Aside from all the waiting games, I have been in constant contact witb the doctor's office. I'm going to stick it out one more day at work and then finally take a leave until I am back to my old self. At least now I know that by next week I should be able to start the first injection that will eventually provide some long term relief. My goal is to make it more than two years without needing surgery or having these shitty s...

Last Tuesday I was told that I needed pre-approval from my insurance to start Lupron injections to help alleviate my endometriosis. I was told it would take a week and that if I hadn't heard anything in a week, I'd have to call back and see what was going on.  This morning I was able to follow up and was told that approval can take up to a month. Which, given the cost of the treatment and that it's only recommended if birth control pills don't help, I could understand why the wait. But, of course, I had my doubts still.  After two hours on the phone with insurance and leaving messages for the doctor, I find that my primary insurance doesn't require authorization for Lupron and that my secondary insurance should be able to approve it over the phone since they are secondary and are not covering the full cost.  Now I am only waiting on my doctor's office to stop dragging their asses and call for the authorization (which I left them the direct phone...

Allow me to wallow for a moment. Have had a three day streak of feeling better than I have in quite a while. Now, I'm bored and lonely at home wishing I had someone to just pop some YouTube videos on the TV and share my fridge full of beer with.  This has got to be the downside of being in your mid thirties. Most of your friends are also married, have kids or probably have to go to work tomorrow morning.  This sucks. I thought about finding some younger friends, but most younger people are just fucking stupid. Notice, I didn't say ALL! So, don't get your panties in a bunch. Or do... like I give a fuck what you think, right? Also, I'm feeling really fucking old realizing that the first Coal Chamber CD came out when I was still in high school. I bet some of you were in kindergarten in 1997... Just saying. or... stating a fact. Maybe I'll just fuck with everyone on Facebook for a while and then fall asleep watching horror movies. Because, fuck ...

Guess who made it through a whole day at work and a trip to the Easter Bunny?!? I think making sure I take my medicine when I'm supposed to is making a big difference. Thank Satan for cell phone reminders!!! Still waiting on the doctor to call to see if the Lupron shots are going to be covered by insurance. I really don't want surgery any time soon. Plus, I've read great things about the effects of Lupron on Endometriosis pain. Going to work for a few hours again tomorrow! Then I'm taking the afternoon to rest up. I have a celebration to look forward to this weekend. It's time to tuck the kids in. Until tomorrow....