Chronic Ama

61 days until Halloween, even thought it's basically Halloween year round in my house. More importantly, there's only two hours until the other half of my heart gets back from his work trip. I'm so excited! I have been trying to keep busy around the house all morning. I even got crafty for about an hour and then made sure everything around the house was perfect. I even waited to put on my lipstick so it was carefully applied and had no chances of smudging. If you don't know already, I'm totally a type-A perfectionist.  I have been thinking a lot these last few days about all the aspects of having endometriosis. A lot of the message boards and groups I am part of have posted interview type questions lately and I wonder what any of you would ask me about having endometriosis. I'm curious if anyone is reading this and for those that do, would you take the time to post a question. Not only will it help me put the noise in my head into words, but it will help

Today I had my appointment with my neurologist to discuss my migraines. I just have to say, I love it when doctors can shut me up. I have that stubborn streak in me, but it also means that they do have the answers I need. I am still taking a migraine preventative and have added a fast acting migraine med. Last time I was on this medication, I hated it. I distinctly remember the last time I took it. It knocked me out and I woke up in a pool of sweat and drool completely disoriented. I hate that feeling and I hate taking meds that make me feel that way. I feel like I lose time and productivity. The neurologist countered my dislike of this med by pointing out... Would you rather be knocked out for a few hours and wake up with no migraine or have one for four days again? Yeah, I guess you know my answer. Today I also attended the first Parent Teacher Committee meeting at the kids' school. I'm so excited to be a part of something again since we opted to not do Girl Scouts this yea

Numbers are spelled wierd. I always think I'm spelling something wrong. But, I'm a writer, so I'm not supposed to spell, right? Today feels wierd. I want a project to do, but I'm still low on energy. Today I was supposed to relax, right? Don't worry, I am! I bought a pool lounger and threw it in our little pool. And that's where I am. Floating in little pool listening to Hocico and drinking my electrolytes. I bathed in sunscreen, but I honestly wouldn't mind the color. The sky is so clear today. I think I should bring my laptop out when I'm done in here and crank out some blog content. When it gets too hot, I can head inside to work on my pictures from the month of August. Oh look! I've got a plan for the day! I'm gonna keep floating. Catch you later....

I feel mildly like a psychopath. I'm soaking in a hot bath of epsom salt and listening to Carnifex while it's 100degrees out and my AC is excelling at its job. My legs haven't stopped hurting since I went to the ER two and a half weeks ago. My back started spasming shortly after and apparently caused my IT band to tighten again in my right leg as well as my piriformis muscles. Makes it feel like I'm on a medieval rack with my hips being pulled in opposite directions. My calves have also tightened up to keep everything in place. I hurt. And I'm trying my best to alleviate this cluster fuck of muscles that also feel like they weigh a thousand pounds. But, I digress in my complaints. I walked two miles this morning! Let's digress again.... I have never considered those metal handles in the bathtub until this very moment. Right now. I'm contemplating how the hell I'm going to get out of the tub. I'll let you know how it goes.... It went fine. I'

No, I didn't forget about you. I was busy enjoying my weekend with my family. We went on a mini adventure on Saturday to the Arizona State Museum and then to lunch at The Fix. I highly recommend The Fix for your mac 'n cheese fix. It wasn't crowded and the food was yummy. Perfect for a cheat day! Haha! I've almost survived the first day of my husband being away for work. I don't know if I'll survive the night. I don't sleep well alone. I think maybe Azra will have to snuggle with me tonight. Or, maybe I'll just pass out watching Netflix at some ungodly hour. I'll let you know what happens. My leave of absence was approved! I'm just waiting on seeing my primary doctor next week to have paperwork finalized. I indeed feel like a weight was lifted. Now I have time to focus on getting better (again) and going on to the next step in this plan of mine. You're going to have to wait for it, though. It's a lengthy process. I'm making toda

It's storming here and my pup is pretty scared of the thunder. She usually isn't, but I think the combination of the wind and rain with it is putting her on high alert. She's desperately trying to get under the covers with me. I used to fall asleep with her when she was a little tiny puppy, but now having 65 pounds of poochifer on me is not quite comfortable.  I, on the other hand, am enjoying the rain. The sky has been teasing to dump rain for a few days now and it's finally here! While this has thrown a wrench in our plans to go to the lake this weekend, it has opened up the opportunity to stay close by and visit another museum. I'm excited to go on another family adventure. There will be plenty of pictures to share too! In other news, today was indeed my last day at work until at least October. All morning I dreaded telling anyone. I sometimes don't like explaining my health issues only because I sound like I'm a wimp. But, then, I remember a

I skipped a day again. I was tired yesterday. And today was a little rough. I had to come to terms with my health a little. I push myself a lot. I ignore my body a lot. I do it because I always want to do more, do better, keep going. And I can't. I really need to take a step back and find my balance. I have a plan, though! And I'll share it little by little as I think putting it out there may just make me stick to it. First, I am arranging to take a leave from work for a little bit. I am seeing a plethora of doctors next month, both new and old. My goal is to have them help me solve these migraines that have been leading to bigger and bigger flare ups. I need to get on the correct HRT that will help me avoid both the migraines/flare ups and the faster return of pain causing Endo lesions. Once that is done, I need to really balance what I can and can't do. If I have to limit my work hours to relieve some stress, then I need to stick to that. And I also have to learn to lis

Yes, I skipped a post yesterday for August Twentieth. I had a long day and at the end, I just wanted to be in bed with my husband catching up on our shows from the weekend. (We're fans of Preacher and Fear The Walking Dead). Today I was still tired. I think it's party because of the new med I'm on to prevent migraines and partly because I'm still nursing my way through last week's crap. My muscles are still achy. My legs feel like lead. My hips hurt. My pinkie finger on my right hand doesn't feel the same, it randomly falls asleep and then sometimes it just doesn't work. Ugh! I worked on the floor today and walked around so much my back was spasming by 11am. Thankfully I keep my muscle relaxers with me and I bought this awesome little CBD vape pen. I think the combination really saved me today. Tomorrow I think I may have to take ibuprofen every four hours to see if that helps prevent more spasming and maybe helps my legs and hips feel a little better. I

I had a really good day today. I think my doctors appointments on Friday and Saturday really helped put things in perspective. Currently, I'm looking for a new OBGYN still because I have two options right now... I can either go back on estrogen and then the pain and endo come back faster and sooner than I want them to. Or, I can stay off the estrogen and manage my migraines and other symptoms until I can find a doctor who will try other HRT, like progesterone. I am taking the second option currently because facing pain through the holidays is not something I want to do. I also have about half a dozen recommendations for new doctors that I need to start calling to try to get an appointment. So, at least I have a plan. And I've already started a new medication to prevent the migraines. I also have started taking a few extra supplements to help with my overall health. The one thing that is always going to be in my mind going forward is "nothing's impossible." Which

Four days of feeling tired, pained and sick and I'm finally starting to feel normal again. I actually can't wait to get back into the routine of the week on Monday. But, yes, until then I will be taking it easy and resting all I can. We have a movie planned and baths and facials for the afternoon. Dinner will be sirloin steaks on the grill and veggies. I'm getting to enjoy some time outside this afternoon. It's not as hot out and laying in the pool and watching the clouds is so soothing. I am wondering when we'll get more rain. Tomorrow we'll get to spend some time planning the kids birthday party next month. We have our vacation planned for October this year, when the kids are on fall break, instead of in September when they'd have to miss school. Oddly, I have nothing to really muse about today. Just kinda taking things as they come and mentally preparing for next week. My brain is a little quiet today. Usually happens when I don't feel well.

Today I begin the daunting task of finding a new OBGYN as well as scheduling all my follow ups for the rest of the year. I barely have the energy to do this, but it's gotta get done. Seeing my primary today so I can hopefully get a B12 shot and a shiny new referral to follow up with my endo specialist in Phoenix. I also need to create a document with all my previous surgeries, doctors, medications, etc. I am so not in the mood for this today. I don't think I'm ever in the mood to look back on all this. My to-do list isn't all medical records and appointments, though. I will be putting an application in to be a contributing writer to a digital health community that I have been following for some time. I figure another writing project won't hurt. It's been great for me these last few weeks and I intend to keep up on it, as well as keeping up on my health routines despite this week's set back. I really should be used to these flare ups as I know the s

Two days of rest and I'm still feeling like hot garbage. I caught a cold/sinus infection on top of everything. I got all ready for work today and went to take my kids to school only to find that the car ride makes me seriously dizzy. So, no driving for me today. I also am starting to have an endo flare. My legs feel like there's weights wrapped around them. My stomach is not happy with me. My back is mildly spasming. I hate my body sometimes. Yes, it's my body and I don't get another one, but this is rough. I had been feeling so good. And, I admit, maybe pushing myself a little too much. But I think a little push shouldn't send me spiraling down. I don't want to feel good and then just keep slow and steady. I want to feel good and keep going. This is where all my fear comes from. It's not even the pain I'm afraid of anymore. It's just the wide array of symptoms that seem to pop up without rhyme or reason. And then there's the guilt. Guilt is su

No blog post for the Thirteenth as I landed myself in the ER with, what we now know, was the worst migraine I've ever experienced. About 4:15 yesterday, I got extremely dizzy and my vision went blurry, worse than any migraine aura I've ever had. 45 minutes later, I was light headed, could barely move and just wanted to sleep. Fast forward to the ER, where they thought I was having a stroke. I don't even know what all went on last night as I was so out of it.  I've spent the day resting, which was doctor's orders. I'm supposed to avoid sun, screens and stress. And I need to rehydrate as my potassium was really low (again).  I'm ending here. My head still hurts and I'm weak. The couch is calling.

I set my alarm for 6pm today instead of 6am. I'd like to thank my bladder for getting me out of bed at 6:09. I made it to work early enough to set up to take care of my team today. It was a beast of a day. I ended the day with fatigue that I hadn't had in a while. My stomach was upset again too. I'm totally sure it was just being on the go all week that did me in. My Endo wasn't happy with that. I need some extra sleep and relaxation tomorrow so I don't start getting a migraine or a total flare day. I'd like to stay away from days like that all I can. As for what I ate today.... I went ahead and had some yummy Jimmy John's at work along with some chocolate chip cookies. I skipped dinner since my tummy wasn't happy. I tried to make it happy with Tums, but that didn't work. I have to plan my meals next week and I will definitely be packing lunch and making sure I take time to eat, thus preventing chicken nuggets and diet coke afternoons. To

Greetings from the pool that I have all to myself today. Music is going, got my delicious vanilla and cranberry iced tea. I should have brought a book too. It's ok, I can work on blog content while I work on my tan. That in itself is comical, because if you know me at all, I'm quite happy being pale. And I bathe in sunscreen. I keep it next to the pool too.  I'm also trying to decide what else to do today. I took off my stiletto nails this morning and I feel a little naked now. Might just leave them natural for a few days and then use the last of my UofA wraps since it's that season. You know, I start getting a little lonely when I have the house to myself. It's the social butterfly in me that needs the company. I wish my brain would just let me enjoy the break. Oh! I see a new doctor this week. My "regular" OBGYN was doubtful I still had endometriosis. I even explained that I had photos and a pathology report that proved otherwise. She also

I'm laughing pretty hard to myself right now. Not only because it's 8:15pm and I'm finally getting a break today after hitting the ground running at 5:30 this morning, but because of something odd that my son encountered at school. He was wearing a baseball cap with a skull on it and got stopped in the hall at school to be reminded to remove his hat indoors AND to be told he wasn't allowed to wear anything with skulls on it. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Wrong kid to tell that to! If only the knew my affection for skulls. My kitchen in covered in them. My bathroom too. My bedroom and my living room. And I have one tattooed on me. My daughter has name stickers with skulls on her school supplies. My son also has a Misfits button on his bag... WITH SKULLS! Why no skulls? Oh, don't worry, I emailed the assistant principal my inquiry. I anxiously await his answer. Maybe I should invite him over for tea... served in my skull cups and stirred with my skull spoon. And serve crudité on my s

I woke up at 5am with the worst anxiety. I think last night's tired and cranky children episode did me in. My daughter argued about wearing basketball shorts for gym. She packed yoga pants in 110 degree heat. And it's my fault. My son needed a hair trim, which I have almost successfully completed previously. This evening, he wasn't having it. He currently has a partial new hair style that we will be fixing after school. Wiggly boys and clippers don't mix. I'm never touching his hair again. Today I'm aiming for a better day and keeping my stress in check. I have plenty of super strong home made cold brew coffee to get me through. Back on the treadmill this evening!!! I'm so excited! It's been since Saturday and I missed this time to clear my head and get a workout in. I never would have thought that I would ever enjoy working out. But, it really does go to show that when you change your outlook, things become more enjoyable. Dinner is sausag

Allergy shots. I highly recommend them if you have asthma, sinus issues or just really shitty allergies. It's a commitment, but it's so worth it! I'm on my third year of shots. I did take time off twice. Once in between switching allergy clinics and one earlier this year when my Endo symptoms were flaring. I have had sinus surgery to ease my sinus issues and recurring infections, but the allergy shots helped so much more. I've had allergy issues as long back in my life as I can remember. I've been reading about how they're is a correlation between endometriosis and increased histamine in the body. It makes sense, but I'm still looking for the research as to why that is. Today went up and down. Got yardwork done in the morning, which pretty much was my workout for the day. And to cool off, we got in the pool for an hour. It was another brutally hot day with a UV index of 11. I'm surprised I didn't get burned. The evening was a beast with two

Today was just so normal, I don't know what to think! Maybe I caught a break from the universe. Maybe it's my little reward for keeping with my goal plans. Nine days in and I'm feeling good! I had some leftover sausage for lunch and my cold brew for breakfast. Lots of water again. Might treat myself with a glass of wine this evening. Making some simple chicken strips for dinner since the kids are at Nana's for a bit. They have stayed on top of homework and chores this week, so this is a little break for them. I'm on the treadmill again. I can't wait for it to cool down so I can take the dog for walks outside and maybe enjoy the neighborhood park. It's just too hot still. And humid as the rain made an early appearance this week. It didn't wait for the weekend like it was supposed to. It's fine, since my plants needed water anyway. And I've been enjoying falling asleep listening to the rain. I'm going to try to set aside some time

"I was kinda getting sick of dreaming." Is a direct quote from Loki this morning as he got out of bed to get ready for his first day of second grade far earlier than he should have. Both kids were so excited for their first day of school. New school for Loki, new campus for Bellini. And when we picked them up this evening, they both said replied in unison, "AWESOME!" when asked how their day was. Made me so happy, that we needed to celebrate with burgers.  Yeah, I know, burgers really aren't on this diet plan unless they're wrapped in lettuce. It was technically the only meal I had time for today. I am NOT a breakfast person. My breakfast is usually coffee, water and my daily pill regime. Lunch is usually pretty light, but today lunch consisted of cold brew coffee with almond milk and all the pecans out of a bad of trail mix I ate while working my ass off. (Yes, most definitely busy season at work.) The point is, I refuse to get down on myself for enjoy

Greetings and salutations from my beloved treadmill! I actually dreamed last night for the first time in a long while. I usually fall asleep with so much in my mind and then fantasizing about how to make my life better. I've been great about carrying around a journal again to jot down ideas and get things out of my head. Best therapy ever for me! Loki has taken more of an interest in music lately. Yesterday he watched music videos with Mark quite intently. And then when I asked him if he wanted me to trim his hair, he said no because he had to grow it out to do his mohawk. I put the pieces together last night in that he really liked the hair style of one of the guys in a music video. It wasn't quite a mohawk, but longer hair was involved. I'll be looking for that picture to post. This morning he asked if he could put music on his tablet, so I agreed that he could have his own Spotify account. I guess I need to invest in more Bluetooth speakers for the kids rooms no

It's hot today . The kind of hot where it's nearly 8pm and still 103 out. Tomorrow's high is 110. But at least there is a slight chance of rain next weekend... 5 whole days away. Tomorrow I will be the proud parent of a second grader and a sixth grader! It's the official start of the school year! I'm excited and nervous. I also can't wait to get back into a routine. I thrive a little better in routine. And yes, there will be plenty of pictures!  I didn't get any excercise in today, but I still ate well. I have to admit that cake just isn't that great when you're so mentally focused on eating right and feeling better. Also, it was hot today. Did I mention that? It's hard to have an appetite while sweating like a whore in church and with the 120 ounces of water I dank. That's right, almost a damn gallon of water. And a giant iced tea in the afternoon because I needed something with flavor. I feel like a cow. Did you know that cows can

I'm starting to hate a job I have mostly loved. The stress feels different this season. Poor communication and exclusivity make for poor morale. Which means I'm on the treadmill again. But it's great because it gives me time to clear my head and write, even if it's a little bit of meaningless crap. Last night I splurged on some stroopwaffle cookies. I'm not beating myself up over it, though. It's pizza night for Loki and I, but I plan on making a salad with pizza toppings on top. I apparently eat a lot of salads. They're so universal, though. They're filling and so so easily low carb.  I'm also strangely optimistic about my health these last few days. I've been feeling great, with pretty much no pain. I have been using a neoprene belt when I'm on the treadmill. I read an article about how they hold in heat which helps with the back pain and belly pain I get. It's too hot to use a heating pad, so using my own body heat while I

I think in found a sort of niche blogging from treadmill. Work today was a beast, so I'm trying to destress before I work a little more this evening. It's that time of the year for me. I was on track eating well yesterday with intermittent fasting. My splurge was chunky peanut butter out of the jar. I had left over chicken tenders for lunch and I'm totally undecided about dinner except for a rogue beer I found in back of the fridge. I'm sure that will pair well with the buffalo marinated chicken I'll probably toss on the grill in a bit.  I'm hoping tomorrow I can make time to call for my medical records and to make a follow-up appointment with my pelvic pain specialist in Phoenix. I hate all these damn appointments. I also spaced my B12 shot for July, so I'll have to get that done too. Ah well, my stress I'm now in check. Time to start the grill, pour my bet and get some more work done.  Side note... one of the best compliments I

I always start over. I've tried to keep myself accountable. Let's try with with written word. Today I'm going to attempt intermittent fasting. Aside from coffee this morning, I'm only going to eat low carb options from noon to 6pm. I'm also going to attempt to detox from tramadol (which I actually don't take very often), muscle relaxers (which I have needed more of recently) and medical marijuana. I need a baseline to compare my bad days to since it's inevitable that the endo is back. I really do want to stay ahead of it this time. I have lots to look forward to the next year. I'm starting this blog from the treadmill this morning. I had a cup and a half of coffee with my usual Coffee-Mate creamer. Not a good decision if I also need to kick sugar. Slow and steady wins the race, right? It's been cup after cup of water today. No appetite, which is actually normal for coming off a migraine as well as having this upper respiratory vi