Chronic Ama

I've been searching for interesting writing prompts for October. I haven't really found any that make me excited to write. I really can't describe jumping in a pile of leaves, because, well, Arizona... or why I love sweaters and boots, because, again, Arizona. The high yesterday as 97 and we hit 99 today before the rain came. I was hoping to open the door and let the cool air and the smell of rain in, but there is no cool air. Maybe we'll cool down the next few days since we're expecting rain. I think tomorrow I'll take out more Halloween decorations. I just have to postpone decorating outside until after vacation. I don't need some asshat stealing my decorations or lights. I really don't trust anyone around here lately. Are you scratching your head wondering what decorations I could possibly take out being as it's pretty much Halloween every day in my house with the life sized skeleton behind the recliner and the bat curtains in the dining room? I...

I have no clue what the fuck to write about today. I need a reset to take on the new week and the month of October. Patience while I take a mental refresh.... Maybe I'll edit some of the hundreds of pics I've been hoarding on my flash drive...

I had a terrible brain fart just now. I looked at the date and erased it and retyped Twenty Ninth. I was scared that a lost an entire day (yes I do that on occasion when a migraine strikes, or when I get the flu, or when my pain levels aren't manageable) until I realized it was indeed the 28th today. Maybe in2as trying to speed up the arrival of October as the high today hit 100. That's pretty much fall in Arizona. Hell, I've celebrated birthdays in flip flops and I was born on Thanksgiving. Well, now that I know I didn't lose a day, I guess all is well in the world, right? I did this wonderful, scary thing last night. I volunteered to be vice president of the PTO at my kids school. I really miss being involved in something like that. We dropped Girl Scouts this year (my participation hadn't been that great due to my health anyway) and my son joining a soccer team didn't work out this year due to scheduling issues. I thought really hard about making this commi...

It's throat punch Thursday and I've been happily spreading the love all around (in my head) since yesterday afternoon. I hate people. I hate inept receptionists. I hate telemarketers. I hate bad drivers. I hate people that pass me up in traffic to get to the red light faster. I really hope they're in a hurry trying not to shit themselves because they had gas station sushi. I also hate gas station sushi. But I do love hearing about people shitting themselves. I'm not too old to admit a good poop joke tickles my funny bone still. I hate people that run red lights. I hate people that drive too slow. I hate that it's potentially difficult to be excommunicated from the catholic church. I hate that it's socially acceptable to have freedom to express your religious views so long as you believe in god. I hate that my phone wanted to autocorrect and capitalize the g in god when I don't consider it a proper noun. There's nothing proper about that kind of faith. ...

I fucking love candy corn. I'm sure those of you that know me are well aware of this fact. I'm also sure that a lot of you reading this have stopped. I'm pretty sure candy corn is about as popular as brussel sprouts (which I also love fried with some bacon bits). Today you get to picture candy corn as I complain more about mood. I've gone from ugh to angry, so this is probably coming to an end and thus, a return to normalcy. I also probably need to catch up in sleep a bit. I haven't been sleeping that well and I wake up overly tired in the morning and consume my weight in coffee throughout the day. Right now I'm just counting down to tomorrow, a day I didn't plan anything for, to just relax. No errands, no appointments. I do have an evening engagement, but it won't get in the way of my plans to be in my pajamas until noon. Maybe I will grab a book and get in the pool for a bit. It's still hot enough. I'm hoping that tomorrow will be my res...

I just learned that when you upgrade your phone and reinstall the blogger app, it pretty much wipes any drafts you had saved on your previous device. Yes, September Twentieth has been eaten by technology. Let's get on with this... I've been dwelling a lot on the two sides to having a chronic illness. I've been wanting to go back to the summer months when I felt a helluva lot better than I have felt recently. I feel like I'm in limbo right now. I have such an interesting mix of good and bad days and they are equaling out a lot lately. I find myself saving my "spoons" a lot these days to sort of build up a wall around my good days and keep them good. You will likely see more of my good days than bad because bad days keep me holed up and hiding in a way. Believe me, it's better that way. Which brings me to the next part of my journey. Currently my return to work is pending. I have been restricted to work no more than 4-5 hours a day, 20-25 hours a wee...

Currently waiting at a new OBGYNs office for a HRT consultation. Maybe I won't get told that it's impossible for me to have endometriosis or that there's nothing he can do for me. I'm nervous. I don't usually get nervous with doctors, but today I am. Update: OMG, I love my new OBGYN! He agreed that I very likely have endometriosis lesions and definitely at least have adhesions again. He agreed to start me on progesterone to see if it helps curb the symptoms I'm having.  I haven't really paid too much attention lately just because of everything in my life, but nausea has been quite a big symptom for me. I was actually surprised to see that I've lost some weight in the last few weeks, despite not being on my low carb, healthy eating path. I am not a breakfast person, but a lot of days even lunch is hard to get down. Hell, today I got an order of cheese curds and I wasn't the least bit upset about sharing them with my hungry offspring. I ev...