Chronic Ama

No, not really. Actually, I do. But I just don't give a big enough fuck to say it. Maybe when I have more time to sit down and collect my thoughts more. Who knows when  that will be. In the meantime, I leave you with my Valentine's wish list:

I really hate saying I'm tired. Or exhausted. Or anything that falls into those categories. But, today I really am. Mentally and physically. The worst part about it is that I don't even know why. Maybe it's because it's after 6:30 and I'm doing laundry, waiting for my daughter to clean her room and sort of dreading bath time. I'm just going to forget about it all and as soon as the kids are I  bed, I'm going to eat cookies. Like, a whole fucking box of them.

That episode of Sponge Bob where  Sponge Bob and Patrick are selling chocolate bars and that one crazy fish dude is chasing them and yelling "Chocolate!" I'm the crazy fish dude. But I have an accomplice. I guess hump day really needs to happen...... If you know what I mean.

I think I know why I avoid the mall. Took Mark's watch to Fossil for a better and it broke and new want worth repairing, so we traded in. I love Fossil watches though, so worth the investment. And then the jewelry store had pieces I couldn't live without. Valentines came early this year. I would have shopped more, but my little monkey butt was getting tired. That's my safety net for shopping. A tired two year old. But now I need my Bath And Bodyworks fix.

Can't shake the feeling that I'm on the verge of some kind of break through or grand revelation or something cool. I wonder what it is. Maybe it has something to do with my past fitting ever so perfectly with my present.  I find myself super delighted to be me. Even more so than usual. Maybe there is something to be said with a certain someone's birthday coming up soon. Perhaps I got rid of so much shit from the air in here recently that only the good is shining through. I guess I really don't have to know. All things in life show themselves when they are ready and when you are ready to see them. But I can't wait to see.....

that my kids don't knock my socks off in amazement. I am entranced by standing back and watching them grow and learn. Seeing Logan run toward "more planes" at the Air And Space Museum made me smile like it was going out of style this evening. Hearing Bella say "I'll be at the books" in the museum gift shop made me a proud momma of a smarty pants. Now I also get to look forward to watching Planes later with them. And probably eating popcorn and cookies. Damn, my weekend was awesome. Was yours?

Woke up. Worked out. Sold Girl Scout cookies. Saw an old friend and met the most adorable little boy! Yup. Today was good. And it gets even better. The kids are going to Nana's house and I'm getting taken out for ice cream! And then.... Tomorrow is going to be amazing too! But it's a secret for now....

I'm too tired to do this today. And I want ice cream. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Stomach flu. Yup. It sucks. So I'm going back to bed to hopefully wake up all better tomorrow. I actually hate missing work.

Just gave me a tour of his new drum set up. And then I asked if I could read comic books with him. And then I said I wanted comic books for valentines. Well, what else do you get a girl whose cat eats roses and who is into working out? But the point is, do you know how awesome it is to date the person you married? I just wish I would have thought of it sooner. Maybe our "rough patches" wouldn't have ever been so rough. A movie and popcorn is all it takes. And some making out like teenagers. And of course, the random sext. Keep it interesting, my married friends. And my single friends too!

I've been neglecting my coupons. I haven't gotten a free sample in the mail since before the holidays. I feel sad. No, really. I like coupons. I do consider it one of my hobbies. I feel like a little part of me is missing when I haven't made time to file, clip and shop. I actually made time today, which makes me happy. The laundry didn't get done, but my coupons are clipped for tomorrow! I have to relearn (yet again!) how to make time for myself. Between work, kids, marriage, Girl Scouts and family time, I don't make any me time. I have been working out more, but only an average of twice a week. And that kinda sucks too. I think I've made my new goal to make time for myself at least every other day. I think that's a great start. Here's to coupons and to me!

And yet another milestone in my daughter's path. Today she gets her first real haircut in a salon. No more nana haircuts on random evenings. And she's so brave too! She was dreading her hair cut and now she's sitting in the chair smiling and loving how gentle the lady is combing her hair. My little girl is growing up and there's nothing I can do to stop it. So I'll just enjoy each and every milestone alongside her. And giggle with her and hug her.

So proud of my little Angel today! We took her around the neighborhood to sell Girl Scout Cookies and she really kicked ass at it! She wasn't as shy as she normally is. It was amazing seeing her beam and get excited when she made a sale! It was also amazing seeing her being so polite and making friends with the new neighbour kids. I hope my Angel knows she's learning so much and that I'm so proud of her. It may be just a little bittersweet seeing her grow up so fast. But I couldn't be happier with the young lady she's become!

My workout motivation just arrived last night by the case full. Girl Scout Cookie season is in full swing and I love Thin Mints as much as I love drinking and cursing. So, that's an awful lot. If you'd like to support some awesome little ladies and remove just a small box of temptation from my presence, hit me up. I'd be glad to get you your fix. And maybe I'll let you chase my toddler to burn a few calories. That's what I did this morning.

I'm an open book mostly. But I have to confess I'm in love with working out now. I don't know why. Maybe it's because my personal trainer is fucking hot. Maybe because vanilla bean whey protein is pretty tasty. Maybe it's just because I'm back and better than ever. I've always been a confident woman. I've always loved attention. I still do and I still get it. I'm also basking in the idea that for 33, I look damn good. Two kids and all. I also feel that for the great deal women talk about confidence and body image, it's all talk. We can bitch about it all we want, but until we get off our asses and make changes, talk is cheaper than dollar store lipstick. And I don't do cheap lipstick. So, here's to me and any other woman willing to change. It's only us that have earned the right to talk.

Nothing interests me for the last two days except chocolate and fried pickles. I cried listening to Katy Perry yesterday. I desperately want to cut off all my hair. I think I'm pms-ing. Good lord. Still not used to this shit as a regular part of life. Please keep me away from hair salons.  I just deleted my stylist's number just in case.

Had a proud mommy moment getting ready this morning. My daughter and I had our hair in buns, had our boots on and pink lip gloss. She's my mini me all the way. And then she tells me, "wow mom, I look better than you!" Yeah, she's definitely my daughter. I hope she always takes pride in the way she looks and always has that confidence. Confidence is important. I'm hoping she never feels she's too skinny or too fat or too anything. She's already perfect the way she is.

This is my second year selling girl scout cookies and my first year add a cookie manager. I'm so excited, it's not even funny. My girls are going to rock it out. You can't say no to these say faces. So, who's gonna buy some cookies this year?

Today was not awesome. I'm fairly certain I got some kind of food poisoning from the Chinese buffet yesterday. Stomach cramps from hell, among other things. I had Sprite for dinner and now I can't stop burping. So glad this day is almost over. Enjoy the pic of my unhappy tummy.

Hello 2014!  You're looking like a fucking breeze! I started the year 30 pounds lighter than I was last year. Now it's time to get some muscle and maintain this excellent skin suit I inhabit. I know I look good, but I can always do better! Wish me luck, or not. I don't really need it.