Chronic Ama

A lot of my days consist of resting wrapped in my favorite blanket and afternoon tea because night time is hit or miss. I didn't sleep much last night. I ended up falling asleep on top of all the bed covers with my heated blanket because I couldn't move to get under them. At 1:30 this morning, I wandered into the kitchen for more meds and water and debated just staying awake until I got tired again. I didn't. I went back to my heated blanked that was now turned off and rearranged my pillows and stared at all the odd shapes that things make in the dark. I think around 3am I found sleep again. I wanted to wake up and go to the bookstore. I was still pretty sleepy as I made brunch at 11am. I drank coffee in a daze and I can probably only recount parts of my day. I allowed myself to fall asleep in the recliner in the late afternoon. The sound of cartoons didn't bother me as my zombie kids wrapped themselves in blankets and relaxed on their second to last day of win

First impression, this is seamless. Next, it really plays on the theory that every small decision u make shapes your life, starting with day to day experiences. Now we add that we can manipulate scenarios with technology. We've been obsessed with this idea since Oregon trail. And look at how many statistics we encounter on a daily basis, also a way of controlling or predicting an outcome with (primitive) technology (math). I also wondered if this interactive media was truly at the viewers choice. You can't change the past, as we were reminded early on via a looped path and a direct quote. I think I'm being sucked into the rabbit hole of existential theory now. I also don't want this to be just a movie or it to be a modern day fable noting that we can always fix ourselves despite the past. I really want to delve into so much more with this. Surely I'd be neglected if there was nothing beneath the surface. And surely I can't be the only rapidly firi

In the last 24 hours I have had some great conversations with two friends. Both have offered me the perspective I needed and both have let me speak my part, thus, further enabling me to let my ideas come to fruition and push myself to toward positive change. As a result, I had a wonderful day! I did housework, which is always so damn redundant, but is quite a necessity. I accomplished everything I set out to do today, which paved the way for the goals of the week. Remember, I did want to complete one gifty type craft as we are in Santa countdown mode. My paints are organized, my craft desk (yes, I have a desk dedicated to crafts) is cleaned and clutter free, and my task desk is also has order to it. I'm ready to make this week my bitch. But wait! There's more! I also had a relatively low pain day. I think when all is right in my world and I can focus on things one at a time and have my eye on a goal, I tend to focus less on what hurts. Yes, I am still in pain (and I will be

I  I apologize for my absence. I don't feel I owe an explanation, though.  The most wonderful time of the year is upon us, but I've been putting off making my to do list and actually accomplishing anything in any logical order. I have been randomly taking on tasks and then kicking myself for the ones I don't accomplish. I really need some time to plan things out and stay on top of things before it's December 23rd and I'm out of steam.  I have been reading more again. I'm hoping to get to the bookstore next next week to do some christmas shopping and hopefully pick up a few things for myself. I need to dedicate a whole day to the bookstore, though, because I can easily spend hours there.  I  have started an old book again. It's the memoir of Adam Nergal Darski, front man for one of my most favorite bands, Behemoth. We have a lot of similar ideas about religion and it's interesting the memories the very first page brought to the forefront

"Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet." -Stephen Hawking I haven't been excited to share a quote or read a great new book in a while. I was helping my daughter with finding an article for her homework and I came across a brief description of Stephen Hawking's last book. I'm enamored by his belief in aliens, in the idea that everything can be explained by the laws of nature and the sad realization of how divided we are.  Can you imagine a moment in time where people stop and look around and realize that we are all bigger than just the bodies we inhabit on this Earth? Instead of keeping your eyes down, focused on your own existence, wouldn't it be a nice change to stop and look at the stars? Look around you, focus on how you can impact the world around you, rather than how the world impacts you. Maybe we can stop wanting to fight over opinions and unpopular beliefs and learn basic respect all over again. I notice the noise in my

I've been reading a lot more lately. I've always loved reading, but haven't really carved out the time for it. I think I've read mostly comic books in the last few years. It still counts as reading. Recently I had the opportunity to beta read a book written by a friend. I honestly didn't know what to expect when I downloaded " Universus Respondet." I pretty much dove right in whenever I had time. I read in the pool on my pool floatie, in the car while my husband drove to get the kids from school, in the recliner in the evening while my kids zoned out to cartoons. It was hard to find stopping points when I needed to put the book down, as the adventure within pulled me and held tight.  The story takes place in the future, which is always a nice start for a good scifi read. We're moving in the direction of colonizing Mars when we encounter something alien. We had started watching the Alien franchise just before I read this book, which remind