Santa Countdown Day 4

In the last 24 hours I have had some great conversations with two friends. Both have offered me the perspective I needed and both have let me speak my part, thus, further enabling me to let my ideas come to fruition and push myself to toward positive change. As a result, I had a wonderful day!

I did housework, which is always so damn redundant, but is quite a necessity. I accomplished everything I set out to do today, which paved the way for the goals of the week. Remember, I did want to complete one gifty type craft as we are in Santa countdown mode. My paints are organized, my craft desk (yes, I have a desk dedicated to crafts) is cleaned and clutter free, and my task desk is also has order to it. I'm ready to make this week my bitch.

But wait! There's more! I also had a relatively low pain day. I think when all is right in my world and I can focus on things one at a time and have my eye on a goal, I tend to focus less on what hurts. Yes, I am still in pain (and I will be until the next leg of my journey beings), but it wasn't at the forefront of every thought. I also put mu big girl panties on and affirmed out loud that I am struggling with depression again. I think just the act of doing that must have scared me enough to put a period on that sentence. By all means, I don't think I'm out of the woods, but now "it" is out there and I have to catch it and retrain that beast to not struggle for power. I am in charge of my emotions, they are not in charge of me.

With that, I am going to focus more on balance. It's been the key word coming out of my mouth today. It even jumped off the page in the chapter of my book that I read while the kids played Legos this evening. It was right there in black and white; words spoken by someone I have grown to idolize in a sense. I don't like that word, idolize. I think I have a great appreciation for his ideas and music and reading that his thoughts are in alignment with my own makes the world seem a little smaller and less complex. I truly felt like I had the answers, now I just had to put them to good use and push forward. I should also say that this is a person that I would love to just talk to over a good cup a coffee. I truly believe that like minded intelligent people that gravitate toward each other have the potential to pull more out of each other. Again, much like my recent conversations, when someone says something out loud that you have played with in your head, it makes it real. When whatever "it" is becomes real, you can then mold it, play with it, teach it, and rework it to make it into something bigger than just that idea that was floating in between the synapses of your brain. It's how music is made, books are written and theories become working experiments.

Ah, I believe I've babbled on a bit here. I really need to get back to my book to finish it. It's that time of the day I can unwind and sort out my ideas and plans for tomorrow. Oh, and I have to go move the elves. They're going to search for ice cream and get stuck sleeping in the freezer. Which only works because one kid is packing lunch and will need to take the ice pack lunch bag out of the freezer. Yes, sometimes these silly things require careful planning. I always say, the kids will grow up not remembering every gift they were ever given (I sure don't), but they will remember the experiences and fun things we do this season (like my obsession with wanting a big poofy dress and a cousin reunion one day... there's pictures... and proof that 80's fashion was only as awful as you want to remember it to be)

I really must go. This is getting long.

Lastly, you should give this book a read, even if you have no idea who the hell he is.


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