Chronic Ama

We drove to Phoenix yesterday for my post surgery follow up. I was a little surprised to find out that the pathology report came back that the excised tissue was not endometriosis. It was scar tissue. That was actually a bit of a relief that I may be in the clear now to move forward a bit more. I did find out that my continued pain is from muscle spasms. I am full of scar tissue (adhesions) in my pelvis. None of it was excised with my last surgery as it has worked to hold things in place in places that I've lost organs. OK, makes sense. Apparently the scar tissue can trigger muscle spasms, which causes pain. Not all hope is lost! We're hoping that a combination of medication and physical therapy should alleviate the pain. And even if that doesn't help eliminate the pain, we have a plan in for other things that can help. Now I'm just waiting to be scheduled for physical therapy again. I'm also going to keep trying my best to be active. I've been really

I long to be on the go, to be outside in the warm January sun. I want to finish all the things I've started today.... the laundry in the washer, dryer and couch. The dishes in the sink from breakfast and the freezer meal prep this morning. The pantry in need of a clean out to make dinner menus and put away today's groceries. The little details I've started in the patio in acrylic paint. Lastly, my planner in need of my inked ideas for getting through the next week and a half so I can begin planning my recovery. I feel robbed and almost victimized by my illness right now. More so because it feels more than evident that something else is at play. My feet and hands hurt badly. Last night, I clung to my husband's chest as the lower part of my back tightened and released again and again for what seemed like endless moments. I held back my tears because I didn't want to ruin our evening vegetation ritual that we both desperately need through the week. I watch little old

A lot of my days consist of resting wrapped in my favorite blanket and afternoon tea because night time is hit or miss. I didn't sleep much last night. I ended up falling asleep on top of all the bed covers with my heated blanket because I couldn't move to get under them. At 1:30 this morning, I wandered into the kitchen for more meds and water and debated just staying awake until I got tired again. I didn't. I went back to my heated blanked that was now turned off and rearranged my pillows and stared at all the odd shapes that things make in the dark. I think around 3am I found sleep again. I wanted to wake up and go to the bookstore. I was still pretty sleepy as I made brunch at 11am. I drank coffee in a daze and I can probably only recount parts of my day. I allowed myself to fall asleep in the recliner in the late afternoon. The sound of cartoons didn't bother me as my zombie kids wrapped themselves in blankets and relaxed on their second to last day of win

Yes, I skipped a post yesterday for August Twentieth. I had a long day and at the end, I just wanted to be in bed with my husband catching up on our shows from the weekend. (We're fans of Preacher and Fear The Walking Dead). Today I was still tired. I think it's party because of the new med I'm on to prevent migraines and partly because I'm still nursing my way through last week's crap. My muscles are still achy. My legs feel like lead. My hips hurt. My pinkie finger on my right hand doesn't feel the same, it randomly falls asleep and then sometimes it just doesn't work. Ugh! I worked on the floor today and walked around so much my back was spasming by 11am. Thankfully I keep my muscle relaxers with me and I bought this awesome little CBD vape pen. I think the combination really saved me today. Tomorrow I think I may have to take ibuprofen every four hours to see if that helps prevent more spasming and maybe helps my legs and hips feel a little better. I

I downloaded the FitStar app via my Fitbit a few months ago. I have used the free version about 4 times so far and I really like it. The free version gives you a workout a week, which isn't much, but it definitely helps with motivation. The nice thing, for me, is that the work outs are only about 15-20 minutes long, which is about all I can handle at the moment.  Staying active has become important to me in the last few years. Well, in the last 5 years since my hysterectomy. Since then, I have still dealt with pelvic pain from ovarian cysts (until I made them remove my last ovary in 2015) and endometriosis pain in my back and legs (which was finally diagnosed properly in 2015 after being suggested time and time again since about 2009), as well as debilitating migraines. Even after my 17 minute workout this morning, I am recliner bound with the heated blanket keeping heat on my back, hip and IT band, which are the source of my latest battle with pain, that I will be victo

Today I kinda feel like a champion rabbit, with my fluffy fur all shiny in the sun and my little tail happy as can be. Ok, no, not really with the fur and tail, but maybe.  My primary doctor has been preaching to deaf ears about low carb diets and why it fits me so well. I think after the dairy free bullshit, I wasn't really into committing to another diet. I like food and I like dairy and grain, so fuck off, right? I mean, I've tried, but living a season without a tamale is close to blasphemy. Same goes for sugar cookies. And fudge. And biscochuelos.  Let's fast forward this. My bestie (I have a few, because, as an adult with kids, I know the importance of friends and social relationships) is currently on the low carb thing and she can go out for lunch and a dinner and still be good. Plus, she made cookies with almond butter that I really enjoyed. Also, having someone else that you can look up to and partner with while doing any kind of life changing diet or exe