Chronic Ama

I had a terrible brain fart just now. I looked at the date and erased it and retyped Twenty Ninth. I was scared that a lost an entire day (yes I do that on occasion when a migraine strikes, or when I get the flu, or when my pain levels aren't manageable) until I realized it was indeed the 28th today. Maybe in2as trying to speed up the arrival of October as the high today hit 100. That's pretty much fall in Arizona. Hell, I've celebrated birthdays in flip flops and I was born on Thanksgiving. Well, now that I know I didn't lose a day, I guess all is well in the world, right? I did this wonderful, scary thing last night. I volunteered to be vice president of the PTO at my kids school. I really miss being involved in something like that. We dropped Girl Scouts this year (my participation hadn't been that great due to my health anyway) and my son joining a soccer team didn't work out this year due to scheduling issues. I thought really hard about making this commi

I just learned that when you upgrade your phone and reinstall the blogger app, it pretty much wipes any drafts you had saved on your previous device. Yes, September Twentieth has been eaten by technology. Let's get on with this... I've been dwelling a lot on the two sides to having a chronic illness. I've been wanting to go back to the summer months when I felt a helluva lot better than I have felt recently. I feel like I'm in limbo right now. I have such an interesting mix of good and bad days and they are equaling out a lot lately. I find myself saving my "spoons" a lot these days to sort of build up a wall around my good days and keep them good. You will likely see more of my good days than bad because bad days keep me holed up and hiding in a way. Believe me, it's better that way. Which brings me to the next part of my journey. Currently my return to work is pending. I have been restricted to work no more than 4-5 hours a day, 20-25 hours a wee

I'm not currently very happy with Blogger's integration of their mobile app and desktop site. My blog post that I started working on this morning was just eaten. And that's not the first time that's happened. I'm also wholly disappointed in the app. I love using it for blogging on the go, especially on the treadmill, but it has so many glitches, it's annoying. I cannot post pictures to my blog from the mobile app and that sucks. Bitching aside, today I had a couple epiphanies. Is that allowed? Can someone really have more than one in a 24 hour period? Is that why my anxiety showed up after these lovely, revealing moments in my day? First, I have been keeping track of what I do every day and how I feel at the end. I've come to the conclusion that about 4 hours of activity (cleaning, shopping, just being up and on the go) is about all I can handle right now. I'm hoping to increase this a bit so I can be functional when I go back to work. I would like t

I skipped a day again. I was tired yesterday. And today was a little rough. I had to come to terms with my health a little. I push myself a lot. I ignore my body a lot. I do it because I always want to do more, do better, keep going. And I can't. I really need to take a step back and find my balance. I have a plan, though! And I'll share it little by little as I think putting it out there may just make me stick to it. First, I am arranging to take a leave from work for a little bit. I am seeing a plethora of doctors next month, both new and old. My goal is to have them help me solve these migraines that have been leading to bigger and bigger flare ups. I need to get on the correct HRT that will help me avoid both the migraines/flare ups and the faster return of pain causing Endo lesions. Once that is done, I need to really balance what I can and can't do. If I have to limit my work hours to relieve some stress, then I need to stick to that. And I also have to learn to lis

I set my alarm for 6pm today instead of 6am. I'd like to thank my bladder for getting me out of bed at 6:09. I made it to work early enough to set up to take care of my team today. It was a beast of a day. I ended the day with fatigue that I hadn't had in a while. My stomach was upset again too. I'm totally sure it was just being on the go all week that did me in. My Endo wasn't happy with that. I need some extra sleep and relaxation tomorrow so I don't start getting a migraine or a total flare day. I'd like to stay away from days like that all I can. As for what I ate today.... I went ahead and had some yummy Jimmy John's at work along with some chocolate chip cookies. I skipped dinner since my tummy wasn't happy. I tried to make it happy with Tums, but that didn't work. I have to plan my meals next week and I will definitely be packing lunch and making sure I take time to eat, thus preventing chicken nuggets and diet coke afternoons. To

I'm laughing pretty hard to myself right now. Not only because it's 8:15pm and I'm finally getting a break today after hitting the ground running at 5:30 this morning, but because of something odd that my son encountered at school. He was wearing a baseball cap with a skull on it and got stopped in the hall at school to be reminded to remove his hat indoors AND to be told he wasn't allowed to wear anything with skulls on it. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Wrong kid to tell that to! If only the knew my affection for skulls. My kitchen in covered in them. My bathroom too. My bedroom and my living room. And I have one tattooed on me. My daughter has name stickers with skulls on her school supplies. My son also has a Misfits button on his bag... WITH SKULLS! Why no skulls? Oh, don't worry, I emailed the assistant principal my inquiry. I anxiously await his answer. Maybe I should invite him over for tea... served in my skull cups and stirred with my skull spoon. And serve crudité on my s