Chronic Ama

As a woman, I am well aware that health is often measured by that nasty little digital number on the top of my scale. It is insanely hard to change that idea since we are inundated with that measurement at every turn. I remember my primary care doctor having me sign a document that had my height, weight, and BMI on it along with information about how I was overweight and at risk for diabetes, even though my bloodwork had always showed my blood sugar as being on the low side of the normal range. I remember when I was dealing with all the issues and symptoms that go along with having Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and having my OBGYN at the time tell me that I needed to not worry about how I'd get diabetes, I needed to worry about when because for one, it ran in my family, and for two, I had insulin resistance which usually goes hand and hand with PCOS. I remember the first time I stepped into my GI doctor's office. The older gentleman had more than a few extra pounds around his mid

We caught the rain on the way back from Phoenix this afternoon. It was the usual day trip to see my pelvic pain and surgery specialist. This visit was far from usual. I caught myself wanting to pull over or, at the very least, stick my head out the car window and feel the cold hard rain wet my hair and pelt my carefully painted face. I wanted to physically wash away the worry and stress that came with these trips. I wanted just to feel the world around me from this new perspective. I have no where to go but up now. It may be that I have reached the pivotal point in my health where I may be in the clear from the recurrence of endo. The bleeding lesions may never appear again. I truly wish this to be with a degree of foreseeable certainty, but I'll take the large chance I now have of never seeing this brutal disease grow inside me again. And that small sliver of uncertainty and doubt can go in the trash. Really. I don't need that doubt. I need the clarity. I'm moving on f

"Love is in, hate is out" My daughter wrote that on our to-do white board. I told her we're adopting that as our mantra this week. We will choose love and will do things with love in mind. We had an amazing spring break. We didn't travel or really do too much, but we were together, which was what we needed. We got to be outside a lot, which was amazing. I grew to love morning coffee on the patio with all my plants and the company of the birds and hummingbirds that came to the feeder we put up. We also have plans to spruce up the patio a bit more by adding curtains to block the summer sun and a rug to make it a little more cozy. We are also just counting down until we can put the pool up, but I think we can wait til May.  This week has already been busy and will keep being busy, but we have all been ready for it. Yesterday was errand day to get things ready for our Coffee with the PTO event that was this morning. It was an easy event to put on and I

I had the most amazing weekend! That makes two in a row. I hope we keep this as the current trend.  Friday was our first PTO event at the school. Sonoran Science East PTO First Annual Trunk-Or-Treat! I was so surprised at the amazing turn out as well as all the helping hands we had! The event even came together without any huge snags! It was a little stressful, I'll admit, but it was worth all the work we put into it. I'm excited to start planning more! Saturday we celebrated the life of the woman that showed me what friendship is all about. And we celebrated together as an amazing tribe of people. Linnea, you gave me the one thing that I had needed and searched for and that is an amazing group of people that are so full of love and caring. You showed me it was OK to be me, with all my flaws and everything. You welcomed me and my family into the tribe and we will forever be grateful for that. My kids are surrounded by other amazing kids and they are care for by so ma

To be honest, I'm writing this blog a few days late. I had such an amazing weekend, I kinda made blog notes, but that's as far as I got. I spent most of my Saturday with my tribe, including 13 kiddos and some pretty amazing adults. Man, I needed that connection so badly. I am so incredibly grateful for having other parents that I can relate to. Not that I didn't have that at all, but it just feels great to click as part of a group.  I think all adults, parents or not, need friends. And not just people we see on occasion. I believe we need the kind of friends that we can laugh and share with or even swing to the other extreme and share our grief with and, of course, everything in between that. Plus, it's a bonus for me when there are other parents, no matter the age of the kids. Kids need friends too and when they can learn to relate to kids of different ages, it builds on their social skills. Really, we just all need friends. That's it, plain and simple.