Chronic Ama

I dont know why things like this are so hard to say face to face. Maybe its because through teary eyes and tear stained cheeks, words fail to do any justice to emotions and feelings. Words are just a filler between holding you tight and wiping away my own tears. Words don't form well between sobs and the need reach deeper and deeper for strength. I want you to know you are strong. You are one of the strongest women in my life. It is amazing looking up to you. It's just as amazing trying to figure out your strength. I want you to know that I can never be truly mad at you for anything. Its just these horrible emotions. I don't know what to do with them. I want to scream and yell to get them out of me. And then I want to drown them down down down where they fail to exist. I want you to know that I see you in me every day. I don't know if it's a gift or a curse to love so purely that every atom of your being is reaching out to help everyone. It's

When we lose someone we can talk and think about so many things. Love. Family. Grief. Sadness. Joy. But that's just the thing.... I told my mom that it's a strange thing. Death is the only guarantee in life, the single thing we can bank on. And we know nothing about it. The truth is, we know everything about it. We know that it brings people together. We know that it reminds us how important life truly is. We know it encompasses every emotion known to man all at once and one by one. We learn from it and we live from it. Death inspires art. Death inspires poetry. Death inspires science. Music, literature, philosophy, religion… an unending list of beautiful things born out of grief and darkness.  I think what we can take away from this is what each of us chooses. We can choose to grieve. We can choose anger. Both are emotions that have run through my veins on such occasions. But I also chose not to hold on to them. I reach for every little drop of love and