Chronic Ama

It's 2:15 in the afternoon.  I only worked 4 hours today, but my body feels like I worked 10.  I finally got my B12 shot. For the 1st time it made my arm hurt pretty bad. I don't know how to say this but I've been slowly feeling depressed again.  I start my leave from work on Tuesday And that's not really a bad thing. 18 years of working with a company... It's gonna be a little sad to start my leave because I know I'm probably not coming back. If anything I'm not looking forward to missing the people that I have grown to love over the years. I know this is the right decision for me, though. I think for the 1st time in a long time I'm not looking forward to my birthday. I have no plans for the 2nd year in a row and I don't even know if I want to celebrate. That makes me sad because I love celebrating anything and everything. I don't care about getting older. It just feels like my life is changing so dramatically. It's also hard to celebrate

I've been awake for over an hour, watching the sun come up. I caught a cold from my son and have been coughing and coughing since it was still dark out. And the coughing has brought a lot of pain today. Yesterday too, but not this bad. I feel like I should be used to it. It happens most mornings. My feet ache and I have to grip the edge of the bed and the door and the wall to make it across the hall to the bathroom. And then after a while, it dulls and I can ignore it. This morning my back aches, likely from the cough, and the pain in my legs has me slowly breathing in and out so I won't cry out loud. Being sick triggers a pain flare. I remember back in January I had the flu. Once I was over it, my body just gave up. I was in physical therapy and I rememver my husband having to take me and help me walk in. I didn't want to miss a session and it was important to me for my therapist to see what a bad flare looked like. After all that, I ended up taking a few weeks of work t

Today is election day. I'm actually finishing my mail in ballot this morning and dropping it off at the polling place up the street. October got away from me because I was busy having fun. Plus, I think I needed the pressure of last minute to make my decisions. There's just too much going on in the world today. I actually may even watch the news later to see what's going on with the results. It's also a good thing to be an example for my kids. They'll be voting someday too.  Aside from voting today, I'm home with the LokiDoki monster who has a fever. I've decided that I'm going to let his fever run its course today. He needs to be better for school tomorrow. I've also had the sore throat for 24 hours now. I might as well rest up with him. I forgot to schedule my B12 shot last month, so my immune system may have taken a hit. I hate getting sick with everything. I'm glad the B12 shots have helped since I started them in March, after getting

So, it's Saturday here. My day to be at work and not change diapers or play super heroes. That is, unless both kids are sick and you have to take them to urgent care.  OK, well we started off with only one sick kid and then the other got on the bandwagon.  Bella's had a cough for about a week now. It wasn't getting any better, even after missing two days of school and relaxing with the humidifier on and a bottle of cough syrup ready for action. I got ready for work like any Saturday, but during breakfast, Bella coughed so hard, milk shot out of her nose. That was the last straw for me. Time to call the pediatrician for some advice. (and hoping to get her better for school on Monday) The pediatrician was of no help. I was basically told to wait 'til the afternoon and if her cough didn't go away, take her to urgent care. Or, if by tomorrow she was still coughing, urgent care was needed. I knew she's still be coughing. She still is in her room as I t