Chronic Ama

In the spawn of a second, nothing really changed but a digit on my smart phone screen. Why do we celebrate a new year anyway? Because each calendar year must be ended and commemorated with the illusions of resolutions for a new set of numbers to live by. That's a lot to take in. Because life is, simply, cyclical. What begins, must come to an end. What ends fosters new beginning. I don't do resolutions. I never have. Besides, there are so many ways to resolve to be better and no one way is truly the right way. And why would anyone resolve to do the same things over again because you didn't accomplish them previously? That, my friends, is a sure route to depression and self loathing that not one of us deserves. Seriously, don't resolve to do anything for the second year unless you have a damned good excuse for not getting it done the first time around. That's probably how aging works. You can never spend to much time wishing because you end up with a bag of regret.

In the last 24 hours I have had some great conversations with two friends. Both have offered me the perspective I needed and both have let me speak my part, thus, further enabling me to let my ideas come to fruition and push myself to toward positive change. As a result, I had a wonderful day! I did housework, which is always so damn redundant, but is quite a necessity. I accomplished everything I set out to do today, which paved the way for the goals of the week. Remember, I did want to complete one gifty type craft as we are in Santa countdown mode. My paints are organized, my craft desk (yes, I have a desk dedicated to crafts) is cleaned and clutter free, and my task desk is also has order to it. I'm ready to make this week my bitch. But wait! There's more! I also had a relatively low pain day. I think when all is right in my world and I can focus on things one at a time and have my eye on a goal, I tend to focus less on what hurts. Yes, I am still in pain (and I will be

I am horrible at finishing blogs lately. I admit that, yet again, I haven't been feeling my best. And when I do feel good, I guilt myself into catching up on every single thing as fast as I can. And then sometimes that starts a vicious cycle. Today I'm trying my best to break that cycle. I'm nursing a migraine. I had a breakthrough for about 2 hours with no pain, so I finished laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, vacuumed, took out the trash, cleaned the cat box, watered my plants and then took a recliner break because my pain came back in an instant. I have to drive up to Phoenix to see my pelvic pain specialist tomorrow, so I decided that it was time to hit the breaks. I made myself get in a hot bath. I made myself take all my meds. I am making myself take care of myself, as odd as that sounds to me. This week if laundry goes undone, but I complete a craft, I'll be happy. I won't submit to guilt. I'll have more good days in return, and that's the motivation

Today I had my appointment with my neurologist to discuss my migraines. I just have to say, I love it when doctors can shut me up. I have that stubborn streak in me, but it also means that they do have the answers I need. I am still taking a migraine preventative and have added a fast acting migraine med. Last time I was on this medication, I hated it. I distinctly remember the last time I took it. It knocked me out and I woke up in a pool of sweat and drool completely disoriented. I hate that feeling and I hate taking meds that make me feel that way. I feel like I lose time and productivity. The neurologist countered my dislike of this med by pointing out... Would you rather be knocked out for a few hours and wake up with no migraine or have one for four days again? Yeah, I guess you know my answer. Today I also attended the first Parent Teacher Committee meeting at the kids' school. I'm so excited to be a part of something again since we opted to not do Girl Scouts this yea

Today was just so normal, I don't know what to think! Maybe I caught a break from the universe. Maybe it's my little reward for keeping with my goal plans. Nine days in and I'm feeling good! I had some leftover sausage for lunch and my cold brew for breakfast. Lots of water again. Might treat myself with a glass of wine this evening. Making some simple chicken strips for dinner since the kids are at Nana's for a bit. They have stayed on top of homework and chores this week, so this is a little break for them. I'm on the treadmill again. I can't wait for it to cool down so I can take the dog for walks outside and maybe enjoy the neighborhood park. It's just too hot still. And humid as the rain made an early appearance this week. It didn't wait for the weekend like it was supposed to. It's fine, since my plants needed water anyway. And I've been enjoying falling asleep listening to the rain. I'm going to try to set aside some time