January 7th, 2019

A lot of my days consist of resting wrapped in my favorite blanket and afternoon tea because night time is hit or miss. I didn't sleep much last night. I ended up falling asleep on top of all the bed covers with my heated blanket because I couldn't move to get under them. At 1:30 this morning, I wandered into the kitchen for more meds and water and debated just staying awake until I got tired again. I didn't. I went back to my heated blanked that was now turned off and rearranged my pillows and stared at all the odd shapes that things make in the dark. I think around 3am I found sleep again.

I wanted to wake up and go to the bookstore. I was still pretty sleepy as I made brunch at 11am. I drank coffee in a daze and I can probably only recount parts of my day. I allowed myself to fall asleep in the recliner in the late afternoon. The sound of cartoons didn't bother me as my zombie kids wrapped themselves in blankets and relaxed on their second to last day of winter break.

I shot up as it was getting dark out. A disoriented me attempted to make a plan for the evening, but showers and dinner loomed over my head. It was 5:30 and I'm sure it was my empty stomach waking me up. 

Now at 7:30, I'm sure I could fall asleep, but it feels as if my brain is restless. I'll try my best to sleep soon, but I don't know what the universe has in store for me tonight. 

Either way, I still want to go to the book store. The smell of ink and paper is swirling in my mind. I crave it almost as much as I do ice cream or a bold red wine. I want to get lost a little and I want to see how my kids select things to read. I wonder if it will be an easy choice for them or if they'll browse and then complain of boredom. Time will tell. As will the amount of sleep we all get tonight.