Bella was here ;)

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ideation

Sometimes I wish I was an introvert. Maybe the pain of being alone a lot would turn to pleasure. I wouldn't need to schedule coffee dates because I wouldn't have this hole in my soul that can only be filled with the presence of others. I could easily pass off the last few years of having people as a phase. I'm an introvert now.  Grocery shopping panic attacks make sense because I'm an introvert now. I can pass that blame on to the pandemic maybe. I'll start getting comfortable with the fact that I am truly disabled now. I can't work or keep up with my own little business demands. It's ok, I was running out of energy lugging the same shit all over town. Also, I'm an introvert now. I'd rather not have to talk to people about what I make and why I make it. And be disappointed when they keep walking by, too turned off to even say hello. Introverts appreciate it that. We don't mind when people keep walking by. It's less stress to deal with in the ...
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Devil's Night

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I'm currently still on a search for as much information as I can find about the pending investigation into the drug Lupron. Lupron is a drug commonly used to treat prostate cancer in men, and more recently, to treat endometriosis symptoms in women (and men in some cases as well). It works by overstimulating the production of hormones, namely testosterone and estrogen, causing them to stop being produced temporarily. I fought with insurance companies in 2015 to take Lupron after having a surgery that provided no relief from my pelvic pain. It was the second to last resort treatment that my OBGYN at the time suggested. We didn't want to skip to the last resort, which was having my last remaining ovary removed, because being only 34, it was not the best idea to undergo surgical menopause. I was excited to try my 6 months of Lupron to see if it provided at least a few years of relief. It was highly recommended, with the only side effects being worsening symptoms shortly after t...
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