Chronic Ama

That's kinda what I feel like right now, even though I know it's not true. I'm tired and I have some decisions to make, although I'm certain the decisions have been made. I just need to ride them out and stand beside them. I also feel terribly overwhelmed again. I think I've over booked myself just a little. A little little. But I'm about to ask for some help and just get shit done. I can do this. I always come through. Just gotta keep my head on my shoulders and out of my ass.

Gonna be in for it tomorrow. Hungover and staying up late to watch Walking Dead. This girl is gonna need an extra shot in her iced venti non fat no whip mocha. No one piss me off tomorrow. And don't judge if I'm asleep under my desk.

That's what I need here. Ya know, I've never been a great fiction writer, but I feel like giving it a try. Maybe some dirty romance? What do you say? I think I have a good imagination. But my husband's trashy fiction is much better. Not sure if I could live up to that standard yet. But I still gotta try.

I think I'm getting bored with this. Just a little. Or possibly I have more to do than say lately. Like clean house and take out the trash and laundry. Ugh, so much laundry. It's piled in a basket on my floor right now. And now you may be thinking this is possibly a metaphor for something. It most possibly is. As I'm spending more time writing here than paying attention to my date tonight. I should go. And no pictures tonight. I don't feel up to it.

Indulgence. Gratification. Getting my way. Those are a few of my favorite things. And I practice them as often as I can. You should try it sometime. Try it without fear. You will eventually learn your limits and possibly push yourself out of your comfort zone. You might like it. You might not. It's not for everyone. If you can't let go of fear or regrets or guilt, there's no point in doing many things in life. Let go.

I'm out of things to say today. I'm happy to have a day off tomorrow. I'm happy I'm done with Girl Scout cookies. I'm happy I had a bottle of Apothic Red. It was yummy. I'm happy I got to have dinner with my sister today. I just a happy girl I guess!

Laying in bed..... waiting for the Walking Dead.....

My recap.... Wednesday... came home from work and slept 12 hours. I was pooped. Thursday..... stayed up late doing my nails for Friday. Friday.... Family Valentine's dinner. And here I am. My nails are already a wreck and I could use more sleep and if I eat anymore valentines sweets, I'll be in a sugar coma. I going to attempt a run tomorrow after work. Wish me luck. And smack my hand if I reach for another cupcake. Thanks.

The only thing I have to say is that PCOD can suck it. I can deal with the PMS. Ok, fine. (At least I don't have to deal with periods anymore!!!) I can deal with zits. Whatever. I can deal with insulin meds. Yup. I can deal with changing my exercise or just plain needing to exercise. But these occasional painful cysts can kiss my ass and go to hell. I don't care if they don't happen often anymore. I just wish they didn't happen at all. And you're not getting a picture tonight. I'm that irritated.

I've had tears in my eyes too many times today. First, Bella loses her first tooth during dinner and she thinks she swallowed it. That made me super disappointed since I have keepsake boxes for each kid for their teeth and locks of hair from their first cuts. But then,  my super smart husband roots through her spaghetti and finds her tiny little tooth. Yeah, I finally cried a little. The Logan gets his new bed this evening and is so incredibly happy, it's not even funny. Which was the perfect end to the day that he took initiative to pee on the potty himself. I am about to lose it. I don't have babies anymore. I have a beautiful young lady and a very happy big boy. At least I can step back and be a little proud myself. I incubated those growing babies and have taught them quite a bit. They are growing up to be such awesome little people! I am so proud I could just cry. And I am. I need a hug. I think it's time to jump in my comfy bed with my honey and let it all out

I think I've put a few pounds back on since Christmas. But I think I've been doing too many squats too. My skinny jeans were a bit tight on the ass this morning. I'm not complaining. I'm just going back to running and backing off strength training. Strength training also makes my hormones all whacked. Kinda sucks. I'll still keep boxing with the focus mitts, though. At least that's more cardio. Plus, I love my pink gloves. I have at least gained a big benefit from the exercise, though. I've been able to kick anxiety meds again. My new goal is to not have another "relapse," as my doctor says. Manic depression isn't fun. I can deal with it, but I'd much rather not. I think I can do it. It had been about two years between episodes. I need to widen that gap immensely now. I have the tools I need to do it. It's the kiddos bed time here now. Almost mine too. I'd love to stay up and watch the Walking Dead. Realisticly, I'll be aslee

Yes it was. Except that when I finally looked at a clock this evening, it was after 7. And this morning when I looked at the clock, it was barely after 6. And I still had things to do and errands to run that had to be put off another day. Which means tomorrow will be busy again. But, if this bed is as awesome as it was in the store,  I'm down for it. I'm going to sleep like a coma patient from now on! Pillow top, memory foam and gel! Bam! Now I need to invest in awesome pillows too. And I'm still undecided on a head board. Anyway.... I love this bed. And tomorrow I'll love it more I'm sure. Now it's time to get my kids in bed and prolly have some cheesecake before I hit the hay. Goodnight!

I gotta do this quick since my phone battery is nearly dead. Happy Birthday to my one and only, my super hero, my partner in crime, my husband!!! I know he hates birthdays now, but tough shit. We celebrated twice in one week. Super Bowl with birthday cake and birthday day dinner. It was worth it! So here's to many more birthdays and to changing your depends and to buying rocking chairs for the porch one day and all that fun stuff in between. I love you, honey.

I vowed years ago to never become the kind of parent that never has time for my spouse. I read do many articles,  stories and Facebook posts from parents that never make time for each other. That's never going to be us. I make sure of that. We may not go our for dinner and it's been too long since we've seen a movie in the theater, but we make time for each other. We have hot chocolate dates when it's cold out. I make hot choclate, he finds something to watch On Demand and we cuddle under blankets on the couch. That's just one of the many things we do. I feel bad for the parents that complain about not having time for each other. I also want to slap them and tell them to make time. Happy parents have happier kids. Happy parents are healthy. Really,  it's an easy thing to do. Just get creative. Tonight it's mini choclate cake and Big Bang Theory night. What's your plan?

Don't you forget. I kinda did for a minute there.  Until in was laying in bed last night trying my hardest to get some sleep. I've always held taking care of myself to great importance. I've also held on to the commitment I made to myself to not talk about being tired all the time. Both those things led me to a little realization. I need to do a little more for me. I've been doing my nails again.  And this week I started bleaching my teeth again and super moisturizing my face before bed. I already feel a lot better.  I've also been able to seek advice when I'm the person with all the answers. I'm happy I made the decision to do that. I felt relieved today.  This weekend I'm going to work out and not worry about all the things I need to do. I don't care if I run out of time. I'm going to measure my success in what I can accomplish while putting myself first and not making lists of crap that isn't priority. Watch out life, I don't just

Ok, I admit, the first person that posted the "click here to see my Facebook movie" made me totally think Facebook was letting people post porn now. Yes, I do have a dirty mind. I have yet to click on one of your movies because I have not had the time, but when I get time, I will be Facebook stalking all your movies one by one. And I totally admit that I will be disappointed if I don't see at least one cleavage shot in each movie. And then I will make my own. And I promise cleavage. Boobies rock!!

Guess I dropped the ball on blogging yesterday. It was a busy day, and that was even before the Super Bowl. Today was a good Monday. Except that I'm doing laundry and all I want to do it eat potato chips in bed. Which is a bad idea anyway. I love my job right now. I've always loved my job, but now I'm doing something I can be more passionate about I guess. I have great bosses and a great team. It gets frustrating at times, but if it didn't it wouldn't be work, right? I need to start measuring my accomplishments rather than my "to-dos" each week. I got grocery shopping done. I did my taxes. I'm doing laundry 'cos I don't have any clean work pants for tomorrow... That's all I got right now. I have to go put my kids to bed so I can start eating chips in mine....

Work Dinner Errands Coupons Modern Family (Insert drinking here) Don't repeat. Today was boring.