Chronic Ama

Had my follow up appointment number 23849728053780465 today for my pelvic pain. It started last Tuesday with cramps that just were so uncomfortable. I just didn't feel myself. Of course, the doctor though it was my period coming on... rest... pain killer... blah blah. Went back on Friday after waking up with pelvic pain in my left side radiating to my leg. Guess what, ANOTHER CYST! More rest, pain meds and follow up today. Since Friday I've been online and on message boards and reading books about PCOS . I discussed some options with my husband and we concluded that maybe I need a regular routine again. Going to bed at the same time, waking up at the same time, taking meds at the same time, planning meals, regular exercise. It's what was recommended when I was first trying to get pregnant with Bella. It apparently worked then because I was pregnant about 5 weeks into my "treatment" and while I was pregnant, I only gained 28 pounds and lost it all by 6 weeks pos

Admitting that I'm getting depressed is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I want to be a happy person. I want to love my life and look forward to each day. I don't think I've been able to do that for almost a year now. I feel stupid complaining about my health again and again. I feel like no one really understands that actual physical pain I've been in. You can't see it on the outside, so I feel like people don't think it exists and I just make it up for attention. Sometimes I wish that were true. It would be easier to deal with maybe. I'm also tired of explaining to people what's wrong with me. What this disease has done to me and that I probably can't have more kids. Which makes it harder when people ask when I'm going to have more. I'm absolutely sick of people reasoning that I should be grateful for the child I have because I at least have one. Don't they think I've thought of that? It's still pretty devastating to kn

Four days since surgey on Monday and I'm still very uncomfortable. It's at least a tolerable pain, now, though, but still sucks! Monday we got to the hospital at 10 and went to pre admit, then to amit, then to a room. Waited in said room for about na hour during which I got to strip down and put on this lovely plastic gown and smelled like a medical strorage room. Yum! Got asked a milllion questions that had been asked at my pre anesthesia and my pre surgery appointments. Then wheeled to the pre op room. (Thank god they didn't make me walk across the hospital in that god awful gown!) Met my nurse, answered more questions, put on a sexy beret, got an IV, and then it was surgery time. I got hella nervous. They wheeled me into the OR and had me roll over onto the operating table. Hell, if I was only a little nervous before, I was ready to piss myself nervous now. Some "relaxation" medicine into the IV, some oxygen, then, I was out. Time to get on with the hysterosco