My glitch in the matrix
I think I finally figured out what the hell I'm doing wrong when it comes to taking care of myself. After months of contemplating where the fucking glitch in the matrix was, I figured it the fuck out today.
I. Can't. Take. A. Fucking. Break.
No, really. I can't. I seem completely incapable of relaxing or taking more than a few minutes to recoup. I'm stuck in a vicious cycle and I finally think I can stop.
See, what happens is that I like to keep busy and keep going and to have everything perfect. I very well could have come home and relaxed or iced my shoulder or made myself an icey cold diet coke. But, I didn't. I took on project after project and integrated snack after snack. Like, since I couldn't stop for a break, I might as well just reward my hard working ass with a snack. And then another snack and then left over egg rolls. Seriously, this is some shit that I have dug myself into.
Tomorrow I am clearing my calendar except for a gym date and finishing my checkbook because I have sorta forgotten to pay a bill last week. Oopsie. I am wearing comfy clothes and drinking a fuckton of water and I am relaxing, even it if fucking kills me. Hell, it just might!
Check on me, friends. I might need someone to come tie me to my glider and put an umbrella in my ice water.
I. Can't. Take. A. Fucking. Break.
No, really. I can't. I seem completely incapable of relaxing or taking more than a few minutes to recoup. I'm stuck in a vicious cycle and I finally think I can stop.
See, what happens is that I like to keep busy and keep going and to have everything perfect. I very well could have come home and relaxed or iced my shoulder or made myself an icey cold diet coke. But, I didn't. I took on project after project and integrated snack after snack. Like, since I couldn't stop for a break, I might as well just reward my hard working ass with a snack. And then another snack and then left over egg rolls. Seriously, this is some shit that I have dug myself into.
Tomorrow I am clearing my calendar except for a gym date and finishing my checkbook because I have sorta forgotten to pay a bill last week. Oopsie. I am wearing comfy clothes and drinking a fuckton of water and I am relaxing, even it if fucking kills me. Hell, it just might!
Check on me, friends. I might need someone to come tie me to my glider and put an umbrella in my ice water.
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