Keep Your Birth Control, I've Got Bigger Battles To Fight

No, I'm not writing this to start an argument or to say you're wrong. I'm not against what you believe in and I don't want you to think I don't care about birth control. 

I'm writing this to show you why there is so much more to women's health than birth control. Yes, it is used as a treatment for acne, irregular periods, painful periods, heavy periods, etc. But, did you know those are also symptoms of other diseases.... other INCURABLE diseases? I bet you didn't. Acne and irregular periods are common symptoms of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Painful and heavy periods are symptoms of endometriosis.

I have both.

I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2006 and then officially diagnosed with endometriosis in 2015, even though endo was suspected in 2010.

Birth control was pretty much the gold standard to treat PCOS when I was diagnosed, but what happens when you want to have kids? Birth control is health insurance's favorite treatment for endometriosis, but what happens when you don't have a uterus and only one ovary? Not so easy. 

And what about the countless women that are given birth control for acne and period problems without any doctor even thinking about these diseases and their common symptoms? It just makes diagnosis that much harder in the end. 

That's why I fight for awareness. We need to know what these diseases are and find better treatments and one day a cure! I don't want my daughter (or eventually maybe granddaughter) to go though the things I've gone though. 

Here's some of those things:

Losing some of my independence. There are periods of time when I can't drive. I need help into the shower. I can't cook. Hell, just the other day, I needed help walking from the living room to the bedroom. I was in tears and too determined to walk to let me husband carry me. 

Not being able to take a job offer or look for my dream job. I've wanted to either go back to school for my masters or work for a non profit for years, but when I take leave for surgery often and have to be on intermittent leave, my dreams of a new career are crushed. 

Seeing me husband sleep on hospital floors at all hours. Seeing him cry. Seeing my mother fight back tears. Knowing that my pain, that they likely don't completely understand, causes them pain makes my heart ache more than anything. 

Having my kids ask why mommy is sad or sick. They don't understand and it hurts my heart for them to have to see me sad and sick. 

Being labeled an addict by ER doctors and nurses. Imagine you broke your leg and needed to head to the ER. Once you're there, the pain is pretty bad, let's say an 8 on their pain scale. And they give you Tylenol because you may be an addict and it'll be 2 hours before you can get an X ray. 

Connecting with other women on social media that also have endometriosis and forming new friendships and bonds and then logging on one day to read that the girl that was in dire pain last night took her own life because two ER's refused to believe her. Imagine a pain so bad that taking your own life is the only option for relief. Yes, these diseases create depression and anxiety that result in suicide. Pain is a mother fucker. 

Hearing about another women that over dosed on doctor prescribed pain killers because the pain was so intense.

Feeling completely alone at times because even though there are those that understand you. Pain is alienating. 

People pointing out that I'm always sick. I'm the first and last to catch every stomach bug and cold because endometriosis taxes your immune system. 

Hating my body. No, nothing to do with body shaming. I am attractive and mostly comfortable with my weight. It's not that kind of hate. It's the kind of hate where you just want your body to function normally and not be in pain.

But, on the issue of weight... being told it'd be healthier to lose a few pounds, but then being told how hard it'll be to lose weight having these diseases and also being in surgical menopause, but still that I need to just work harder at it. 

Having my belly swell when my endometriosis flares up to the point my pants don't fit and I look pregnant. It hurts when it swells that much. Finding comfortable clothes isn't always easy when you have to work.

The last thing I can think of right now is the spoonie life. The lack of energy to do normal things. There are days that I need a nap after I shower. Or I need a day in bed after a day out. The energy levels vary by day and a lot of the time there's no way to tell if I'll have lots of energy or next to none or somewhere in between. 

You fight for your birth control. I'll be here fighting for your doctors and hospitals and health insurance to find the true cause of your acne, painful periods, irregular periods, heavy periods, etc. I'll still be there for you when you stand up to these diseases. And I'll definitely be in your corner if you're ever diagnosed with one of these life changers. And I'll have your back if anyone tries to tell you birth control will cure you. Keep fighting your fight and I'll keep fighting mine. Maybe one day we'll fight side by side.