I believe in...
There's something that's been on my mind for a long time and gets pushed to the forefront by a lot of people around me. It's what I believe in. I don't really believe there's a god with a plan for me. I do believe in being spiritual I guess, but I don't fall into a religious category. I choose not to. For years, I have followed a way of thinking, as I have categorized it. Satanism. I am a Satanist. I believe in myself. I believe in being intelligent, educated and being myself. No, I don't worship the devil (nor do I sacrifice small animals). I worship myself. In a nutshell, I feel that if I can't pick myself up and dust myself off when shit goes wrong, I don't expect anyone to help me. I expect to make informed decisions about my life and be smart about it. I also expect that of other people. Unless you have put forth the effort to be your best, don't come crawling to me for help. That follows my political views to an extent. I don't have the patience to explain that now.
In the past I blogged about my accomplishments. I have myself to thank for that. I don't believe in praying to a god will get me what I need when I have sought out and been rewarded myself. I have looked in the face of failure and have given it a black eye. I can deal with what life throws at me. I have so far. I can fully admit that I have been down, depressed, whatever. But what matters is how I deal with it and how I pick myself up again and put myself back on track. And I believe I have done that and will continue to do so as needed. Each time, I will come out a little stronger and smarter.
I also believe in eye for an eye. Don't expect much from me if I have lowered my expectations for you. And if you have wronged me, your days are numbered.
I believe in forgiveness, but only after each side can see their fuck ups. How can you be a better person if you don't see where you went wrong? Learn from your mistakes and don't make them again.
I raise my children with these ideals in mind. I don't believe in baby talking to a baby. I don't believe in letting your child give up trying to do something unless there is a damn good reason. I try to instill the idea of being proud of who you are and fuck what everyone else thinks. It's been a little difficult with Bella as she has been self conscious since starting school. But, I keep telling her it doesn't matter what others think of her. I tell her not to be afraid of being laughed at. I tell her to laugh back because the other person looks pretty fucking stupid wasting their energy picking on her. Although, it's just a little self consciousness and no one has laughed at her or picked on her. I feel sorry for the person who eventually does. My advice might really click someday.
If there's one thing I hope I can teach my kids it really is my "religious" belief in Satanism. I want them to be strong and I want them to be able to achieve everything they put their mind to. I want them to obtain everything they want. I don't ever want them to let others drag them down. These are the things that I want for myself and have found happiness in and I hope it gives them the tools they need to be successful in life.
This is just a little peek into what I believe, what I do and why I do it. I am my own god and I stand a pretty damn strong woman for what I believe in.
I just had to share that. Get it out of my mind and onto the page....
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