I declare it another vodka day... actually, I need a whole bottle of wine...

Well, I have lost 3 pounds in the last two months. So, I guess maybe it does burn a few.

Ah, well, I've had an eventful day and week. It started with my doctor appointment on Tuesday. I was going to get this damn Implanon thing taken out and instead, we decided to do it when I go in for surgery again. Great! I'm having my tubes tied and possibly, my left ovary removed if it is really as fucked up as we think it is. No problem there. I was hoping to have it done in the next two weeks as the doctor implied, but when they called, they gave me the date of September 5th. Oh hell no. Not that week. I told the lady I wanted it done next week or ASAP. She hasn't called back. So, well.... waiting anxiously for all that crap to happen. I've had this kind of surgery twice already, but I'm nervous as fuck about it. Maybe it's also that having my tubes tied is pretty permanent. I really know I don't want any more kids, but a little part of me is sad that I won't have that option. I think it goes back to being told I couldn't have more kids a few years ago. That fucking sucked and really weighed heavy on me. I don't know... Maybe I need some counseling again, or a good trip to the bar?

Tuesday we also visited Bella's school and then Thursday was her first day. She had a really rough day on Thursday and cried on and off all day and then came home and threw up. Lovely. Friday was a little bit better, but she's still on edge. I know it'll all be alright and in a few weeks, she'll start loving it even more. I think I'm still really stressed about her being stressed about school. I worry about her more than I ever thought I would. I know she's in good hands and she'll really blossom in school, but I still worry. Yeah, welcome to the school years, right?

Today was clean the house day while daddy did his thing with the kids. The three of them were out in the pool earlier and my mischievous little Loki decided to stand up in the pool and face plant over the edge on the concrete. It was a total accident and daddy was right next to him, but this one looked a lot worse than any of his previous face plants. So, here I go off to the emergency room. The kept us there for a few hours to make sure he didn't throw up because of a concussion. I was cool as a cucumber the whole time, while inside I was so upset that he was hurt. No mother ever wants their child to be in pain. But, alas, he got some Tylenol and discharge instructions and we came home to snack and nap. Well, he napped and everyone else did, but my mind was racing.

Apparently I also thought it was a good idea to work on my checkbook when everyone was napping. I don't know why, but I get such high anxiety when I do my checkbook. I keep us on a budget and balance my book every month, but I've made a few dumb mistakes in the last few months that really sucked. I think I'm afraid to make another mistake and overdraw or bounce a payment. I know it's unlikely, but I feel so dumb about it. I, like most wives, also hate discussing any sort of finances with my husband. I always tell him what I pay, what is due and our budget for each week and he just doesn't get it sometimes. He thinks me keeping a tight budget means that we're broke. No, honey, I just like to save money in case we every need it. Who knows when we're going to need new tires or have to fix something around the house? Right??

Ah well... now that I've gotten that off my chest, I think I'll finally go shower and relax. Maybe I'll find that bottle of wine to open.......