Useless.

I'm officially on leave from work until I can start these stupid injections and get back to feeling better. I was supposed to hear back from the doctor's office last week, but I called them Thursday morning and Friday morning and haven't heard anything back. Ok, so it was technically a holiday weekend. I left another message this morning. I just feel like I'm racing against a timer now and the longer everyone drags this out, the less time I have to feel better. Does that make any sense? It sort of does, but nothing makes sense to me lately. 

I feel fucking useless. I can't work right now because I miss more days than I actually work. I can't really start exercising again because about 3 hours into my day, the pain starts. When I start getting stabbing pains, if I don't take a pain killer right away, then the pain just gets worse and worse. I already feel like my family is sick of me and being in pain doesn't help things.

This morning I've started trying to get myself ahead. I made all my phone calls. I cleaned the bathroom, vaccumed, made lunch and did laundry, even though it seems like everything takes me twice as long. I can ignore the pain in my back pretty well now, so that's been nice to not worry about. 

Rest is a nasty word for me. I've left too many people, big and small, with the impression that I am, indeed, useless. Thankfully, that has made me plan a little better. Now I need to finish my checkbook and get the afternoon's activity ready for the kids. I've got enough diet coke and iced coffee to keep me going this week at least. But, I'll be needing a refill for next week.

Fingers still crossed that I get back into the doctor this week. Maybe my days will start sucking less. Ha!