Epiphany?

I think I just fell into some sort of revelation about myself. I think I need to define myself in a sense to achieve a sense of self. Which makes no sense, since I, as a human being, am quite dynamic and any static sense of self makes me uncomfortable. I need to keep changing and growing to be comfortable. I like a challenge and I like reaching goals. 

Unfortunately my health seems to be this ugly static entity looming above me. I have forcefully refused to be defined by it, but every day I am reminded about the challenge I have just sort of putting up with it. My growing frustration at things I haven't been able to change is an ugly reminder of being manic depressive. I have been so angry at things I cannot change or control at the very given second they come to fruition. 

Not to mention the anger I feel at my ever present hot flashes. I am at the end of my endometriosis treatment after a very long year (2015, I'm talking here), of "dealing" with it. And, unfortunately, even with a thumbs up from the doctor next month, will still have to consider the next step. 

A step that also means that I would be free from one symptom of my PCOD that would be worth relieving myself of. Because I. really. hate. emergency rooms.

And now I'm getting tired because, although I opted to hold off treatment, my newly found Graves Disease is sucking every last bit of energy out of me.

I think I've proved a point to myself just now. Flexibility is all that matters, even if I can't achieve that sense of self because I'm too busy evolving for it to even matter.