Ovarian Cyst Pictures, Anyone?

This is apparently a hemorrhagic cyst, which is what I had. My husband looked at a bunch of pictures with me and he found a few that looked like the surgery pictures, but he kept insisting it was bigger than any pictures we found. I can't wait to see the damn surgery pictures!! I'm picturing a gigantic, bloody cyst covered in adhesions and looking all gnarly. I guess I'll have to wait 'til next week to see. I wonder if the surgeon will let me get a copy of the pic? or instagram it?

Anywhoo... I'm 3 days into recovery and I'm doing better than I have after any surgery, except that I can't get over being so damn tired. I can cope with the sore, swollen belly, but being tired is killing me. I made muffins with my kids today and after that, felt like I needed to go back to bed. I was also hot and sweaty like it was 100degress in here, but it was only 76 and the AC was on.

It's funny that I had been thinking about what I am afraid of for the past few weeks. Someone asked me at work what I was afraid of and all I could think of was most insects and amusement park rides that go upside down. After nights and nights of thinking, I realized that I'm terrified of my own body.

Wait, let me clarify...

I have come to terms with the fact that I have PCOD and won't really ever get rid of it. Even after menopause or possibly losing my other ovary, there's still a lot of damage the disease can do. I think I'm just afraid of that damage in some sense. I knew I'd always be at risk for needed more surgeries and I can accept that. I just am afraid of the pain and the unknown. Going into surgery on Saturday wasn't that hard, but in the back of my mind I was afraid that I'd lose my ovary and have to deal with that or that I'd have a long, painful recovery and end up back to square one again. 

I'm actually really happy that it ended up the way it did now. I'm healing fast and the surgeon took into consideration all my previous surgeries and conditions and was so very helpful. He didn't cut any abdominal muscle, leaving me with no restrictions. I can pick up my son and put him on the potty with minimal pain. I don't have to take weeks off work or have to fear another surgery in the near future. 

Of course, I'll always be worried when I get a painful cyst again, but the new rule of thumb (in addition to the old one of more than 3 days of pain or pain so bad I can't walk) I have to keep an eye on my belly swelling. Swollen belly and pain is a bad mixture. But, I can handle it and keep myself in check. 

It's getting to be bed time for me. Tomorrow is a big day. My big girl has her last day of school and her awards ceremony. Yay! My only concern is finding a nice outfit to wear being as I'm still swollen. Thankfully I have some stretchy skirts to wear... or maybe that empire waist dress that's been hanging in my closet...