Halloween Twenty Fifth
OH MY GAWD! I have so much to say right now. Like, my brain finally processed all that noise and now I can package it up and sell it like American cheese. Calm down. Not sure where I was going with that cheese part, except I haven't had much to eat today unless you count the popcorn samples and can of Chef Boy-are-you-kidding-me-this-isn't-pasta I ate. Oh, and a pretzel at work because I love stress eating and intended to, but life happened and I still have a pastry from my all time favorite spot chilling in a bag on the table...
It's all because this morning I dropped the thing I love just a little more than my kids as a result of my back spasm. My beloved make-up and brushes cascaded down around me like Sephora was literally making it rain. Sit down, I actually do love my kids more, even when my favorite black sparkly Kat VonD lippie is painted on the side of the bathroom cabinet. I held my breath inhumanely long when I saw that disasterpiece.
So yeah, my back spams started our the gate today! At work, it felt like my chair grew a gigantic chainsaw arm and was caressing my back with it. It was so not amazing. And THEN! THEN! My hands stop cooperating with me. It's been happening since my epic migraine.... something about nerves and the vascular distention in your brain during a migraine triggering nerve response and causing weakness (which is why they thought I was having a stoke). But I don't have a migraine. Just my hip pain giving me grief, which is my current normal.
Apparently it also triggered my brain into over drive because then I was thinking about thoracic endometriosis or the possibility of having endo growing on the nerves in my legs. Holy hell, guys, don't start Googling when your anxiety is creeping up on you and you've been in pain. And if you have to ask why here, I just don't know what to tell you. But I found out all about thoracic laparoscopy for endometriosis and then that nerve ablation that they can do in your spine. I'm now terrified of the word thoracic, even though I love dinosaurs! I really hope you're giggling as hard as I am. The other side of that is if you're not giggling, I really hope you google how to pronounce thoracic and then come back here to have that laugh.
Because I needed that laugh. I guess I am funny sometimes. Back to the matter at hand.... This all has culminated this evening as I needed to get up from the recliner and go pee. I either scared my dog or made her laugh as I barely caught myself from falling so very inelegantly to the floor. Putting any weight on my right hip was causing the most intense pain. Like I was clearly an 11 on everyone's pain scale. I made it to the hall hopping like a severely mentally incapable one legged bunny. I swear I heard my dog laugh. Maybe it was a fart? Oh! I did this all with my cel phone hanging out of my mouth incase my life alert bill didn't get paid this month.
I somehow managed to get the bath going and throw in a bath bomb. Guess it's lucky I left them on a bottom shelf for the kids to reach. I got in the tub naked from the waist down. It's funny the way your brain works when you're in pain. It's like drunk auto pilot. It really is. Don't worry, I realized I still had my shirt on before it was sopping wet. I think the fact that it clung to me like two year old on their first day of daycare.
I am now currently quite sure that I could have boiled eggs in that bath with me. But it was so amazing. Twenty minutes later, I could move around without wanting to cry. I was able to make it out of the tub and dress myself like a mostly normal human. I am currently medicated and comfortable and I have totally lost my train of thought because all that processed stuff has kinda settled into place. The sky has stopped falling as the ground has stopped giving way. Plus, Andrew Eldritch is singing to me about waiting for the train.
You remember being in high school? And there was the jock? the nerd? (wait, my whole school was nerds, but we still had the nerdy nerdy nerds) the goth? I was that goth kid. And now I'm grown up and my children have always had the bestest Halloweens.... all. year. long. The Sisters of Mercy reference totally triggered something else in my brain. Do you ever wonder if the jock is still the jock or the nerd the next big name scientist? Some of you will never make fun of kids named Elon again, right? Anyway... I guess the goth in me stuck somewhere in the bottom of my heart.
With that, I have found my end. Thanks for coming along on today's blog journey. Please collect personal items as you depart. We'll see ya again real soon.
It's all because this morning I dropped the thing I love just a little more than my kids as a result of my back spasm. My beloved make-up and brushes cascaded down around me like Sephora was literally making it rain. Sit down, I actually do love my kids more, even when my favorite black sparkly Kat VonD lippie is painted on the side of the bathroom cabinet. I held my breath inhumanely long when I saw that disasterpiece.
So yeah, my back spams started our the gate today! At work, it felt like my chair grew a gigantic chainsaw arm and was caressing my back with it. It was so not amazing. And THEN! THEN! My hands stop cooperating with me. It's been happening since my epic migraine.... something about nerves and the vascular distention in your brain during a migraine triggering nerve response and causing weakness (which is why they thought I was having a stoke). But I don't have a migraine. Just my hip pain giving me grief, which is my current normal.
Apparently it also triggered my brain into over drive because then I was thinking about thoracic endometriosis or the possibility of having endo growing on the nerves in my legs. Holy hell, guys, don't start Googling when your anxiety is creeping up on you and you've been in pain. And if you have to ask why here, I just don't know what to tell you. But I found out all about thoracic laparoscopy for endometriosis and then that nerve ablation that they can do in your spine. I'm now terrified of the word thoracic, even though I love dinosaurs! I really hope you're giggling as hard as I am. The other side of that is if you're not giggling, I really hope you google how to pronounce thoracic and then come back here to have that laugh.
Because I needed that laugh. I guess I am funny sometimes. Back to the matter at hand.... This all has culminated this evening as I needed to get up from the recliner and go pee. I either scared my dog or made her laugh as I barely caught myself from falling so very inelegantly to the floor. Putting any weight on my right hip was causing the most intense pain. Like I was clearly an 11 on everyone's pain scale. I made it to the hall hopping like a severely mentally incapable one legged bunny. I swear I heard my dog laugh. Maybe it was a fart? Oh! I did this all with my cel phone hanging out of my mouth incase my life alert bill didn't get paid this month.
I somehow managed to get the bath going and throw in a bath bomb. Guess it's lucky I left them on a bottom shelf for the kids to reach. I got in the tub naked from the waist down. It's funny the way your brain works when you're in pain. It's like drunk auto pilot. It really is. Don't worry, I realized I still had my shirt on before it was sopping wet. I think the fact that it clung to me like two year old on their first day of daycare.
I am now currently quite sure that I could have boiled eggs in that bath with me. But it was so amazing. Twenty minutes later, I could move around without wanting to cry. I was able to make it out of the tub and dress myself like a mostly normal human. I am currently medicated and comfortable and I have totally lost my train of thought because all that processed stuff has kinda settled into place. The sky has stopped falling as the ground has stopped giving way. Plus, Andrew Eldritch is singing to me about waiting for the train.
You remember being in high school? And there was the jock? the nerd? (wait, my whole school was nerds, but we still had the nerdy nerdy nerds) the goth? I was that goth kid. And now I'm grown up and my children have always had the bestest Halloweens.... all. year. long. The Sisters of Mercy reference totally triggered something else in my brain. Do you ever wonder if the jock is still the jock or the nerd the next big name scientist? Some of you will never make fun of kids named Elon again, right? Anyway... I guess the goth in me stuck somewhere in the bottom of my heart.
With that, I have found my end. Thanks for coming along on today's blog journey. Please collect personal items as you depart. We'll see ya again real soon.
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