February 18th, 2019 - 10 days left of this

I feel like although some days fly by me, February is still being a relentless bitch.

Mark's birthday passed. It was uneventful this year and I hate uneventful events. Does that even make sense? It should for anyone that knows me. I'm the celebration queen and my crown is a sparkling mess. I think it went along with all the uneventful events of the last few months.

Valentines Day was as good as it was going to get, but mostly because we just needed a damn break. We finally saw "Bohemian Rhapsody" and it was beautiful. It was the little piece of art I was looking for, that small spark that my soul needed. It was also great spending the day with Mark. Although we've spent countless hours glued together this last month, it was just nice to sit and not have to rush for anything or be somewhere or check off a list.

That makes me think of something I said this weekend... while we were quickly getting ready for a family dinner, we noted that on Friday we wanted to clear our obligations. Instead, we went to a birthday party and had a perfect day with out friends that we hadn't seen since New Years. Then, we had a delicious dinner followed by my least favorite past time, puzzles. (I'll elaborate more on puzzles one day) Once it was all done, we were kind of surprised that the weekend was already over and we had done a little more that we planned. But, it was really the first weekend off where we didn't have a funeral to attend or surgery to recover from. That in itself was a glorious feeling.

That feeling seemed to linger today, despite the rain and clouds. Sometimes rain and clouds really are the things that I love and need to renew my senses. I'm looking forward more today than I have in a while. When we talk about weeks or months, it doesn't feel so long. But when we stop to recount events, it feels like that linear movement of time really wasn't as straight as we thought. Today I don't hate time as much as I have. I am back to embracing what time can bring and what time can teach. It truly is time for movement. Time for music. Time for words. Time for actions.

Stay tuned. Things can only get better.

(Please tell me you sang that too. It's been on repeat between my ears)


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