Feburary 4th, 2019

My son is very smart. He's a little sponge. And he's also an open heart, ready to just spew love. So, today he went to the school office complaining of diarrhea, the one thing they have to take his word for. Can't really check to see if the mud butt is in swing or not, right? My mom brought him home so I could take care of him. I needed to mend his heart a little.

He's been afraid of losing me. He sees the sadness in everyone's heart since Tata has passed and he is so very afraid of that kind of sadness. He sees my mom sad because she lost her father. He sees his mother sick a lot lately. He has correlated the two, even though they are very different things.
I feel a little lost explaining death to my son. I don't want to see him so sad or so scared. I want him to be able to move forward and love life like I know he can. I know we are all healing right now and I just hope I can help heal him a little more. I want to calm his fears and set his mind at ease. I want him to always feel our love around him, no matter where he is.

School hasn't been easy for him this semester. His teacher quit and they only have a permanent sub so far. I'm not upset about it. Unfortunately, it's kinda the state of things in the country lately. My point is that it doesn't help my son's anxiety over things. It makes it a little more difficult to get back to normal when your normal has been disrupted. I just hope that with each day passing it gets easier for him. 




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