September Third
September has not been off to a great start. I've been in a flare up since Saturday morning. I knew it was coming on too, but I ignored the warning signs. I was getting ready to go grab donuts for breakfast (gimme a break, we were still celebrating my husband's return home) and I felt like I was being stabbed just above the pubic bone, closer to my hip. It's a searing pain that catches you off guard. My first C-section was started with no anesthesia and a worn off epidural and when they started cutting on the left side, I felt everything! And yeah, the pain was like that. I went to the bedroom to sit down and catch my breath for a few seconds, not sure if it was going to go away or keep coming on. It finally went away in about 3 minutes, which felt like an eternity, especially because I was holding my breath and holding back a few tears. I was just sore, so I took a few steps toward the bedroom door. I could walk, so I should be fine, right?
The pain came and went for the next couple of hours, but I did my best to ignore it and have a normal day. But then, the fatigue and muscle aches came on. My legs felt like lead. Off to lay down in bed I went. I also gave in and took my meds to try to have some sort of normalcy for the rest of the day. I was able to get up and enjoy the afternoon rain storm. I also pushed on through making dinner, although I made steaks at 4:30 in the afternoon like I was no stranger to senior specials. I was stuck to the heating pad all evening and dreading going to bed. I knew I wasn't going to sleep well.
Sunday morning took forever to get here. I slept terribly. I tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable way to sleep. Between the pain in my hips, the aches in my legs and the random stabbing pains, sleep was the hardest thing to find that night.
Sunday was a total spoonie day. Everything I did made me tired and my whole body ached. After breakfast and a shower, I felt like I was done for the day. I was also stuck in leggings as my belly swelled up really nice. I felt like I swallowed a watermelon whole and then followed it with every delicious morsel of food I could find. I ended up taking two naps. The hardest thing about napping is that while you catch up on that precious sleep, your muscles tend to stay tense and achy. Getting up out of bed after a nap requires a second set of hands to dislodge your tense, achy ass from whatever soft surface you've been snoozing on. That in itself can be either or humiliating or humbling experience. I shouldn't be a 37 year old woman that needs help out of bed. But I am, and I really don't care anymore. It's just part of who I am and I tend to boast about how much I love myself. I am broken and that just makes me that more interesting, right?
Today has been easier. No more pain in my legs. The aches are almost completely gone. But, the fatigue remains. It took a lot of effort to go to the grocery store today. I came home and had to lay down after. I was happy with just that. It could have brought on more pain or a totally new flare. I eventually put the groceries away and made myself dinner (the kids ate at nana's), but that also made me feel like I had just finished a marathon.
And here I am now, in pajamas in bed before 8pm. My goal is to attempt to walk a little on the treadmill tomorrow. I want to see if that helps me stretch my legs a little. If it helps, I definitely need to reincorporate stretching every day to hold the next flare away. If my muscles are happy, then maybe they can resist staying so tight during a flare.
Here's a pic for today... from last night's storm clouds. I have a few more that I may share when I get around to downloading them off my phone. Maybe I should work on pictures tomorrow...
The pain came and went for the next couple of hours, but I did my best to ignore it and have a normal day. But then, the fatigue and muscle aches came on. My legs felt like lead. Off to lay down in bed I went. I also gave in and took my meds to try to have some sort of normalcy for the rest of the day. I was able to get up and enjoy the afternoon rain storm. I also pushed on through making dinner, although I made steaks at 4:30 in the afternoon like I was no stranger to senior specials. I was stuck to the heating pad all evening and dreading going to bed. I knew I wasn't going to sleep well.
Sunday morning took forever to get here. I slept terribly. I tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable way to sleep. Between the pain in my hips, the aches in my legs and the random stabbing pains, sleep was the hardest thing to find that night.
Sunday was a total spoonie day. Everything I did made me tired and my whole body ached. After breakfast and a shower, I felt like I was done for the day. I was also stuck in leggings as my belly swelled up really nice. I felt like I swallowed a watermelon whole and then followed it with every delicious morsel of food I could find. I ended up taking two naps. The hardest thing about napping is that while you catch up on that precious sleep, your muscles tend to stay tense and achy. Getting up out of bed after a nap requires a second set of hands to dislodge your tense, achy ass from whatever soft surface you've been snoozing on. That in itself can be either or humiliating or humbling experience. I shouldn't be a 37 year old woman that needs help out of bed. But I am, and I really don't care anymore. It's just part of who I am and I tend to boast about how much I love myself. I am broken and that just makes me that more interesting, right?
Today has been easier. No more pain in my legs. The aches are almost completely gone. But, the fatigue remains. It took a lot of effort to go to the grocery store today. I came home and had to lay down after. I was happy with just that. It could have brought on more pain or a totally new flare. I eventually put the groceries away and made myself dinner (the kids ate at nana's), but that also made me feel like I had just finished a marathon.
And here I am now, in pajamas in bed before 8pm. My goal is to attempt to walk a little on the treadmill tomorrow. I want to see if that helps me stretch my legs a little. If it helps, I definitely need to reincorporate stretching every day to hold the next flare away. If my muscles are happy, then maybe they can resist staying so tight during a flare.
Here's a pic for today... from last night's storm clouds. I have a few more that I may share when I get around to downloading them off my phone. Maybe I should work on pictures tomorrow...
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