Birthday Month Day Two
I've decided this morning that all I want to do is immerse myself in music and art and books. Basically, all the things that make me happy and make me forget how afraid I am.
Bella was here ;)
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Sometimes I wish I was an introvert. Maybe the pain of being alone a lot would turn to pleasure. I wouldn't need to schedule coffee dates because I wouldn't have this hole in my soul that can only be filled with the presence of others. I could easily pass off the last few years of having people as a phase. I'm an introvert now. Grocery shopping panic attacks make sense because I'm an introvert now. I can pass that blame on to the pandemic maybe. I'll start getting comfortable with the fact that I am truly disabled now. I can't work or keep up with my own little business demands. It's ok, I was running out of energy lugging the same shit all over town. Also, I'm an introvert now. I'd rather not have to talk to people about what I make and why I make it. And be disappointed when they keep walking by, too turned off to even say hello. Introverts appreciate it that. We don't mind when people keep walking by. It's less stress to deal with in the ...
U Like. No. I don't like.
Today was not awesome. I'm fairly certain I got some kind of food poisoning from the Chinese buffet yesterday. Stomach cramps from hell, among other things. I had Sprite for dinner and now I can't stop burping. So glad this day is almost over. Enjoy the pic of my unhappy tummy.
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